.....well my friends i had one today:) i woke up technically at about 11pm monday night.....cuz i am nocturnal and that's how i roll. i spent several hours on the computer, ordering new bra's from v. secret and reading all of your bloggy business:)
then this morning i went for a run:) it was already hot and some
dumbasswonderfully smart girl thought she should wear sweat pants to get that little bit of extra sweat out......yeah i don't think i'm gonna talk to her anymore, she isn't very nice.
wheni got home, the day was dawning to be clear and beautiful, and so i decided to work on my magda look (ok not really and if you don't know who i am talking about....don't worry it isn't that funny anyway...)
i got in my swim suit and pu tmy little guy in his and
pranced out the door without a care in the world also grabbed bubble refills, the bubble gun, sidewalk chalk, a book, a towel, put two bottles of water in the freezer, sun block, tan accelerator, made sure the freezer pops were stocked up and frozen and last but not least my smiling babe.
we spent hours out there, soaking up the sun, splashing in the hose, laughing and just having some really nice mommy/son time.
when we came in we showered up and lotioned up and once we smelled sufficiently sweet and clean, i made us lunch.
we set up a picnic on the living room floor since the wind outside was picking up. Yum...we had soybutter and jelly sandwiches on whole wheat bread, bbq chips and nectarines, washed down into our tummies with refreshing water:)
it was so gret to hold a conversation with my little guy and really try and get a peak into his world. he wanted to know some stories about me when i was a kid so i told him some memories and asked him some of his favorite ones.....
then when we were finished, we snuggled on the couch and this conversation ensued..
dom: mommy? i heard some people on t.v. calling their parent's parents gradmaw and grandpaw, but aren't they mommom and poppop?
me: well, yeah, it means the same thing. i know some people who call them meemaw and peepaw.
dom cracks up at that: can you call the teetaw and seesaw? ( why oh why does he make things up like that?)
me: i guess you could call them whatever you want, poopoo and peepee. i don't think they would like it very much, but i guess yo ucould if you wanted to.
dom is laughing again
me: i think it might sound kinda weird to be running around saying i love you poopoo.
dom: yeah and peepee! (still laughing)
me: they might not let you come in the house calling them that, they might make you stay out on the deck.
dom: yeah, an be shameful of what you said!
i don't know why the word shameful made me get the giggles, but we were rolling around laughing for a while.
i also was talking to him about people and why they say the things they said. he looked up at me and said" mommy, everyone's a critic huh"
it kinda hit me because he's right. everyone likes to speak their mind and say what they want, but woe is you if you dish it back to them.
anyway, it is my nephew's birthday today, he turned 6. he is a sweet kid, but i really don't get to see him often. his father ( my brother ) and his mother, they are divorced. and neither of them has custody. the maternal grandparents do, though my brother has regular bisitation with them. so anyway i got my nephew on the phone and wished him a happy birthday and told him i love him. he said two things, one was can i talk to dom?
no honey dom is sleeping.
are you having a good day?
man! my stomache hurts so bad!
then he got off the phone. my brother explained to me that his son had gotten into the fridge earlier and had eaten and entire block of cheese. by himself.
i feel bad for the toilet!
so anway, i ran, got some sun, spent a ton of time with my little guy and got some sleep, oh yeah and i read more of the kite runner.
i hope you are all having days like that:)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
.....well my friends i had one today:) i woke up technically at about 11pm monday night.....cuz i am nocturnal and that's how i roll. i spent several hours on the computer, ordering new bra's from v. secret and reading all of your bloggy business:)
Posted by jineen at 11:32 PM
the stuff to sell/giveaway....
not the benches, but everything else.
don't judge me, i've been busy these last eight years......
so though i was sure it would take days, it didn't. 3 hours later the shed looked like this...
and though the inside needs some refurbishing of some of the wood, i figure that can wait until next week, for now.....it looked like this when we were done:)
yup it went from this...... ...............to this
i am so happy because now we can get some of the stuff that we do wanna keep but no longer have room for out of our house and into the shed, into tubs and containers, labeled and organized of course because i am never going back to the pack rat stage.....
i am sure though that there were many tiger mosquitoes in that shed, adre i say they were bredding in there? and before i could get the bug spray i was bitten over 10 times....
guess i really am sweet like sugar:)
i also learned from hubby (he used to work construction) that on any given morning at a job site, men could be found opening up their pants and dumping baby powder down their pants to keep their balls dry. nice.
and dom asked one very interesting question..
why are they called screw drivers?...... they don't drive!
so it was a good day, and once we had all the cobwebs and squirrel nests cleaned off of us, we were happy:) except now we need that west nile virus test.....
Posted by jineen at 12:27 AM
Monday, June 29, 2009
......the whole thing.
I needed to.
wnat to know why? of course you do. you all care like that. or you want to be nosy. that's ok, i love being nosy. a few commenters let me know they like peeking into the life of someone else...well me too. and i like having you look in my windows.....
while i shared on my last post that i am having trouble sometimes coming up with something to say, most of you found it amusing. my husband on the other hand did not.
he was very upset that i included something he considered embarrassing and intrusive regarding him. we fought about it. at length.
so i would like to set the record straight for his sake. he is a wonderful husband, not insensitive most of the time and when he is i am sure he doesn't mean it. while i thought it was comical that he had some bad timing regarding our bedroom romps.....he felt embarrassed that i shared it.
at first i over reacted. i have asked him multiple times not to read my blog. it is my personal journal. not for him. i still have that request though i realize now if he chooses to read it there is nothing i can do. then i yelled at him that i would never blog again. you all can see how well that worked out since it hasn't even been 3 days and here i am.
so i have thought what i could do to rectify it. i do not wish to be censored on something that i often consider to be my therapy.. my way to get out the stuff i can't say in real life and have you, my bloggy friends understand and accept me anyway. and so i will continue to not censor myself here.
but i will not post anything about my husband that i think he will consider embarrassing. i do feel that it is not fair, and alittle bit of censorship, but for the sake of not fighting, i will do it. i never meant ot hurt his feelings with something that i thought, and still do, think is funny. but he means a lot to me and so i will submit to his wish of not being included on here.
now that is out of the way, we can get down to the regular stuff!
i won a contest on my bloggy friends site! Sarah was giving away a soy candle and i won! soy candles are fabulous and the compnay that she is getting it from is called terra luna and i am thinking with her permission, perhaps i will give one away as well...of course after i thoroughly enjoy mine. and after i get out my other giveaway stuff, which i have collected in my room and is still sitting there. because i never procrastinate.
today is my first full day off after the weekend, and our plan is to clean out the shed. we don't have a garage, so our shed has held all of our junk over the past 8 years that we have lived here and it is filled to the tippy top with crap. oh yeah and squirrel's nests. in the infinite wisdom that comes along with being 19, we didn't pack our stuff into containers but rather cardboard boxes. and they have held up so well over the years. as squirrel's nests.
i am hoping the sun will shine all day so i can work on my tan before we go on vacation in august.
keep your fingers crossed for me, would ya? tan skin is very important to me.
i started reading the kite runner today. it was lent to me by a friend, whom we have recently discovered our love for reading. i wish i was one of those awesome people who had like a book club, or circle or whatever you call it because i love reading books, especially if it is recommended to me. i really like memoirs and stephen king. i know a weird mix....but i am open to a lot. the only kind i really don't care for are romance novels. just can't get into them. love sotries are fine, but you know what i mean, the ones that include "he took his strong, thick weather beaten hands and plced them on the small of her back. as he guided himself into her..."
you know that kind.
is anyone interested? i don't really know how we might do it, i figure something like once a month we agree on a book and then read it. then we write a post on our fancy schmancy book blog where each of us gives our thoughts and either recommend it or don't. let me know. email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
my little rocker is running around enjoying his summer, he is loving the sun and playing all he wants. and of course being canadian, eh?
so with that ladies, i will wish you a happy monday and i am off to clean the shed!
Posted by jineen at 6:16 AM
Friday, June 26, 2009
.....and by that i mean, i keep sittin down to type some wonderful and fabulous post, only to have it fizzle out on me. they keep coming out sounding like a steady hum of nothing. not even very interesting. i have left them in my draft box......
it is nearly the weekend and though it may end up being nice outside, i will be working all weekend. i know, you are all feelin gvery bad for poor little ole me at this point, but it's really ok. i don't mind working the weekend. when your man is a stay at home dad, it doesn't really take any time away to be gone on friday and saturday night.
i also really like the staff that works my weekend:) that always helps. my coworker from hades is back on my case, only this time, she almost made me lose my cool, which in my 3 years of being at my job has NEVER happend. thankfully she is even more stupid than she looks ( i am not sorry for saying that either...) she blurted out some not very nice things about me, which she usually does.....however, this time it was within earshot of our boss.
ha! now she is gonna get in trouble....
i am not usually this hateful i promise, but this girl has made my life at work a living hell the nights she is there. and i love my job.
so i finally got to run again today after taking a week off for my knee to get better. i wrapped it in an ace, put on my sneakers and
ran like the wind couldn't run after 2.4 miles because i forgot to give my body fuel. i seriously hadn't eaten in over 8 hours. so i was pissed because i wanted to do like 3.5, my mind was telling me yes, but my body was telling me NO! so for once i decided not to be stubborn. though if i had passed out it would have been a good day for it since hubby was mad at me and then he would have had to feel bad for me instead...
speaking of which........can anyone answer me this......
if you had a fight in the middle of the grocery store, and your husband left to sit in the car while you
got angrier and angrier pushed around the over flowing cart with no problem, and then got home and spoke nothing to eachother except "you coming running" " i guess, didn't know you wanted me to go". and then got to the track and he took the kid to the playground instead, and then you finished early and asked him to get the car cause you felt like you were gonna throw up...and then you got home and were all sweaty, and upset because the time was ticking away and you knew you had to get up for owrk by 5pm so in bed by 10am was the goal....
after ALL OF THAT....... why would he turn to you and suggest that having sex might make it all better?
it makes my head turn 360 degrees around even now!
(these days i find myself allowing myself to express my anger more than ever before...i have held it in most of my 27 years...)
also, maybe you know this, maybe you don't. i HATE grocery shopping. i used to love it, but that is no longer. i have been trying to sock away a little more money each month to savings and that means being a little thriftier at the store. i make a list of potential meals for the two weeks, make a grocery list of the things we need and then add in extras (laundry detergent, deodorant, whatever). i explicitly ask hubby multiple times what he wants to eat, what he needs hygiene wise.
i ask many times.
i haev my list, i know what is on sale at each store, i have coupons.
we get to the store and spend at least 50 more dollars and end up with at minimum 6 more things than i planned. for him.
only 6 you say? well considering we go to 3 stores, that translates into 18 freakin things he forgot. it isn't that i don't want him to have it, it's jsut that i would have gotten a coupon or looked for a sale or whatever. he just doesn't get it. and then i get mad. and then he puts stuff back and then i feel bad and throw it back in the cart. and then he says don't treat me like i'm a kid, and takes it back out of the cart. and then i snatch it out of his hands and BURY it in the cart and tell him i won' t treat him like a kid, if HE will stop acting like one.
it's the same story everytime. only i don't get embarrassed about it. he does and ends up walking away from me. at least until we get home, where he gets the brillant idea that sex will fix it.
so enough ranting and rambling on.
my little guy watched indiana jones for the first time, and fell in love. especially when he found out there are 3 other movies he can watch. and one of them has an ark in it. which is funny because he doesn't realize it isn't the same kind of ark that Noah had. which is his other favorite movie (evan almighty). he is obsessed with animals, beards and all things noah. ( anyone know where i could find a noah costume?). So anyway, he ran around humming the indiana jones theme song today, and informed me that he had put his 2 favorite things together and was playing indiana giraffe. and it was the best game ever.
he also yelled to me that are we canadians, eh?
seriously he added the "eh" in. where he heard it from, i do not know.
then he told me all the things he knew about canada:
1.)the call pancakes "flapjacks"
2.)they do not have street lights, only stop signs
3.)all their theaters are red
4.)they do play football
then he changed his mind, and remembered that we are "italy-ians" and we eat pasta.
well, ladies here's hoping for a fabulous weekend!
hugs and kisses
Posted by jineen at 3:52 AM
Saturday, June 20, 2009
when i woke up today i knew it was time. there was a very hairy someone running around my home........
so i grabbed a stool and my trusty clippers and i looked at the specimen, deciding the best way to go about my duty......
i worked tirelessly.......
of course, there were no complaints as my sweet dear child began to emerge from behind that untamed bush atop his head (nothing like mommy are you done yet? or mommy i can't take this much longer, no i heard none of that from the little monster who begged for over a week for this haircut...)
when the entire bathroom and everywhere else was sufficiently covered.....
the finished product emerged....
add the tattooes and i think a rockstar was born.....
can i just say that yesterday as i was preparing to go out and do some father's day shopping with my little......
his father and he decided that it might be nice to cover his arms with tattoo's. i'm gonna leave it to your imagination regarding the looks we got from all the old ladies at macy's.
my quote of the day? i don't remember where i heard it from, so if i stole it from you i apologize. and though i do believe i am spiritual, i don't talk about it much on here, but this quote really hit me and i wanted to share it. i sincerely respect all religion's and do nto wish to offend, but it's my blog so......
"i want to be the kindof woman that every day when i wake up, and my feet hit the floor, satan says "oh shit! she's up!"
it's true, i want to be that kind of woman. i want people to admire me and ask for my advice and always be able to tell them the right thing to do, even if it is the hardest and i want always to be honest and dependable.
moving on, tomorrow (today) is fathers day so best wishes to all the dad's out there. i wanted to run so badly today, but i just couldn't fit enough hours in the day to complete everything and who knows if i will get to tomorrow. i hurt my knee a while ago and it hasn't been the same. i haev been wrapping it and elevating it.....we will see. i love seeing what my body can do, but i have to learn not to push it. i started taking vitamins and though i feel like i am not so tired but my peeis also neon yellow. i am told this doesn't necessarily mean anything bad....but it is like a firefly exploded in my toilet!
so with that ladies, i will send you all hugs and kisses and sweet dreams!
Posted by jineen at 11:52 PM
Friday, June 19, 2009
Posted by jineen at 1:33 AM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
i am becoming one tough b**ch! it surprises me the things that i am forced to say/do/endure these days.
sometimes i feel so beat down i don't even have the energy to fight. hubby and i are "walking on eggshells" as i call it. this basically means a fight is brewing, just beneath the surface. we are at opposite ends of an agreement regarding something i want to do and just cannot over the last half year seem to come to some kind of agreement. we fight everytime it comes up and usually i have far given up by now. but i just can't.
but enough about that:)
it is a rainy freakin day here today and i am so sick of it! i just got finished about 50 hours of work in 3.5 days i am should be sleeping, but i can't!
instead i will leave you with this story.....
I used to be a nanny for 2 kids. it was a cake job because i loved the kids, and i could go to college while they were in school and they paid me well.
everything about this job was good except i had a really bad tie with mail boxes, that i haven't had before or since.
once, when i was driving them to school, there was a car that braked suddenly in front of me. it truly did brake very hard, i wasn't following too closely. i slammed on my brakes but i knew i wasn't going to be able to stop in time. there was nothing but lawn next to me on the right so i swerved over to cu through the grass alittle to avoid hitting the dumb car in front.
well there was only lawn and ....
a mailbox, which i promptly ran over.
i was so nervous that the whole thing happened in the first place that it didn't occur to me to stop and go back. i just kept on driving as if nothing had happened until the girl who was a bit older than the boy turned to me and said, ummm did we hit a mailbox?
i looked her dead in the eye and told her no. i guess she believed me because we never spoke of it again.
that or she was afraid i might run her over......
and the other time i was backing out of their driveway and i don;t know what i was looking at, bt i backed over their mailbox and knocked it over and it was wooden so it broke!
it was splayed everywhere in their driveway.
i felt terrible, i sat there for a minute and then i don;t know what possessed me, but i left!
i think they would have been very understanding had i stayed and explained and i really was very good to their kids.....
the next day they were relaying the story that some crazy person came and knowcked over their mail box and didn't even say anything.
i jsut stood there and agreed how awful it was to have done such a thing. i felt so terrible , but by that point there was no going back.
i don;t think they ever even suspected me...
i am sure you all think i am horrible now, but i was only 17, i didn't know that it wouldn't be the end of the world to fess up and buy them a new mailbox.
i hope they never find this and read it.......
have nay of you ever done something like that? how did you handle it?
you better fess up, or i might come looking for your mailbox.......
Posted by jineen at 10:14 AM
Saturday, June 13, 2009
uh, i was totally grossed out today by reading something in my
woman's bible for survival glamour magazine. but before i tell you all about inspiration...
there's still time to ask hubby questions! come bloggy friends, here is your chance to meet the man of leisure himself, the man who can tolerate me even after all these years! ask him whatever you want, and he is gonna guest post with the answers, unedited by me!
ahem, moving on.....
in addition to my role as mother of the year, which requires lots of time for speech writing and parenting classes for those of you who can't seem to keep up with my mad parenting skills, i love to educate. my knowledge is extensive, and i thought to my self " self, don't your readers deserve to be as smart and all knowing as you?" well my bloggy friends the answer is yes.
so i figured i might help learn you all alittle, here goes, pay close attention:)
i figure i will start off easy, something you may even already know. i like to let you feel alittle superior, i'm kind that way:)
i love yoga, i love stretching. you too? think you are awesome? well, it is physically impossible to lick your own elbow. (of course why would you want to?)
i was "reading"
while taking a dump in my "office" and came across a little excerpt that informed me that after one day of wearing a pair of panties, you have approx. a tenth of a gram of fecal matter on them. ewww! i mean i know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it was part of a story talkinga bout how woman re-wear their underwear and that the poopoo can cause infection because it can touch other parts when you re-wear them!
i am so grossed out. i know its probably because i am a nurse, but i wash my hands more than 100 times a night when i am at work, and probably half that throughout the day while at home. not because i a ocd, but because i just like to prevent illnesses whenever possible.
apparently, handwashing alone doesn't help. you also must never eat in public. wanna know why? An average person will consume 12 pubic hairs in their fast food annually. ummm.....thankgoodness we don't eat a lot of fast food, however, i always thought it was all the grease giving me "swamp ass". apparently, that may not be the cause after all.
think all that plucking and waxing and shaving and hair dying and treadmill slaving is bad? at least we have some evidence to back it up. what if we lived during these times?...Drinking turpentine is said to make urine smell like a rose, so hundreds of years ago, women would drink turpentine so their piss would smell sweet. umm.....
forget excederin and tylenol, if you got a headache in 1897, you were totally in luck! why? well bayer (yes the aspirin company) marketed heroin. NICE!
i know you are probably exhausted from all this reading and learning, but i wanted to leav eyou with one more tidbit of knowledge.....
more than half of you reading this and expanding your brains, will have tried to lick your elbow:)
happy weekend! (don't forget your questions for hubby:)
Posted by jineen at 3:42 PM
this is my little guy at christmas in 2006:) he was about to turn 5 and in keeping with my general status as mother of the year, i cannot recall much else about the picture:)
i am hgoping for sunshine tomorrow so i can add some color to my skin, and i am also going shopping for a pinata:) family reunion on sunday.....
i am so thankful for the kind thoughts after my rough day wednesday, its so good to have people here that care:)
again i msut refer to my friend sarah, who has an awesome blog by the way, she did a master cleanse and i so want to do it...but i am scared of the salt water flush......
and finally one last plea....
i have been begging my husband to jump on the blogging band wagon and he is resisting so far, but he is willing to answer some questions from you all....
anyone want to know anything? even the most personal of questions, even the grossest, or most embarrassing, he will do it. he promised.....
hope you are all having a great weekend, for the tag i am picking
whileshopping in the mall for shoes today, my son turned to me and said "hey mommy, yo uknow those pigs people eat? you know the ones with their heads still on and apples in their mouths, those are called suckling pigs."
me "oh yeah? well thankyou for letting me know"
him "by the way, what is a suckling pig?"
i tell him it is a babby pig. he says "oh, hmmmm. well did you know the eiffel tower is located in paris, france?"
me "i did. but thankyou for reminding me. how did you learn all this stuff?"
never mind that we have taught him how to read (more or less) and the presidents, and addition. suckling pigs and paris, france are what he knows:)
Posted by jineen at 1:23 AM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
so it is wednesday night and i am hoping tomorrow comes sooner rather than later. nothing in this day has gone well and i am ready for it to be done. never mind that technically it is already thursday because it is 12:40 am.
my friends got in trouble this morning with our boss and i am feeling liek they think i am the cause of it. i am not byt the way, but the whole thing looks a little suspicious. my stomache is sick thinking that i may lose some friends that i value more than most anyone else except hubby and son.
am i over reacting, probably, but just the same, it isn't looking to good right now and i am having a hard time focusing on anything else.
then when i went to the gym to tough it out on the treamill about 22 minutes into my 40 minute run, i got a pain in my left knee that i couldn't even breath through. i have been having some strain in that knee and have been wrapping it and icing it, but today it got so bad i literally coudln't stand on it. then it took me 10 minutes instead of 3 to get out to my car.
i don't know what to do, i thought the pain would go away once i had some rest, but it is coming back the more i am on my feet. my husband says i have over done it running for 11 days in a row with no rest. but i am stubborn and would like to think not only am i mother of the year, but also super woman. it is currently elevated and wrapped in an ace bandage.
in general after 36 hours of work in 60 hours, i feel shitty. i am tired and my feelings are hurt and my honesty nad loyalty are in question, and although you, my bloggy friends may not be aware of my honesty issue, but i am honest to a fault. i cannot tell a lie, (i know someone famous almost said that, george washington?) anyway, it hurts. am paranoid enough as it is and i cannot wait until tomorrow to see the faces of my friends and see where i stand. maybe this is why i have no friends, because i cannot stand someone who doesn't understand how loyal i truly am to people i care about.
i have a couple things to mention.....
my friend serena has new blog site.....
my friend shannon has had a tough time of it lately and you should give her some encouragement....
my friend cammie is in dc because she and her hubby are awesome....
my newest and kindred spirit friend sarah is having a blowout and not the hair dresser kind....
and also, anyone wondering about mr. jineen andress? anyone have any questions for him? ask away and he will guest post on here with the answers.
he has agreed to answer any and all questions!
people take advantage of this opportunity...
love you all, so glad this week is almost over!
Posted by jineen at 12:25 AM
Saturday, June 6, 2009
......what with all this learning i am doing lately:)
in addition to the lessons i have learned from my son, there are some things my patients have taught me and i feel you should know them as well.....
parts of your body are not always what they appear....
i was leaning over a patient trying to calm her down for bed. it was quite a task to undertake being that she has advanced dementia and also won't take any anxiety meds. (or any meds for that matter, she just won't swallow)
i couldn't leave her to her own devices, so i was using every trick i keep up my sleeve to get her relaxed. so anyway.....
i was smoothing her hair and talking softly......
meanwhile, she is grabbing at anything with both hands, the air, the siderails, the iv pole.....
and all of the sudden...
she grabbed my crotch.
and held tight.
i tried to back away without scaring her and i asked her what she doing.
she looked at me as she withdrew her hand and said....
"i am putting the easter basket backon the table."
i let her know that this particular easter basket was staying right where it was.
saltines and jif can be used against you....
i was again trying to calm down a little, itty bitty, crazy woman one night. ( i spend a lot of time calming people down....)
she has a mulitude of mental disorders and refused to take her meds. she was quite upset one night and i believe she was more scared than anything. acute psychosis can do that. she couldn't remember us from one moment to the next. she was black, and i tell you this not because i care, but because she was including several racist slurs in her yelling.
she was yelling all kinds of profanity, letting everyone know exactly what she thought of them. as she told each person in the room all the things that were wrong with them, she screamed and yelled.
we were finally able to get her to take her meds by crushing them in peanut butter and spreading it on crakcers. telling her it was the crunchy kind, which she loved.
finally it was my turn to hear what she thought of me....
she looked me dead in the eye...
and in a very calm voice.....
asked me if i had any peanut butter.
i told her i didn't....
" i just thought that since you are a cracker, you should have some peanut butter to go with it."
i had to leave the room because i was laughing so hard.
some patients just can't get enough of us...
we have one patient who comes in every couple of months, drunk off his ass. he is withdrawing from alcohol, which can be deadly.
after a lifetime or two of drinking everyday, he isn't looking so great. he is a short hispanic man, who can speak english, but only when he is sober...
one time, he smelled so bad and was continually peeing on himself and refusing to take off his pants. i literally stripped him down and held him in a bear hug and made him shower. i was soaking wet by the end but at least he didn't stink.
another time, i had to pick through his entire dinner because he hadn't eaten in days. i knew he was hungry and when i finally asked him what was wrong her told me he wasn't eating our food because we had la cucaracha's (sp?) in our food.
the last time he was leaving, he haqd been withdrawing worse than before and was found on the bushes of a median on the highway. i told him he was gonna kill himself if he didn't give the drinking a break. surely falling into some bushes had to be a pretty low point.
he was walking down the hallway, in his clothes, being discharged.
i called to him...
he turned around..
"give us a little rest for a while, stay away from the beer for a week or two..."
he smiled, raised his hand to his mouth while shaping his fingers as if holding a beer can and said in his spanish accented english....
"i don't know, maybe tonight...."
i ran this morning, and now i am having a glass of wine......(let's pretend it's just one...)
and now i am going to sleep:)
have a great weekend!
Posted by jineen at 11:22 AM
Thursday, June 4, 2009
it's true. just ask him. He makes sure he reminds me constantly that i in fact might be lost if it weren't for him.
He has taught me that i can endure almost anything.......
while we were on our vacation in March, heading from key west back to the mainland of florida, crossing over a 7 mile long bridge, i turned and warned the apple of my eye that we wouldn't be having a potty break for a bit. (now, i understand he really has very limited control over bm's and that is why we put a pull up on him in possibly unknown potty situations) ahem...
approx, midway across the bridge, he announces he has to poop.
I turn and look at him.
he puts his hands up and shrugs his shoulders as if to say "what can you do?"
only what he said was "it's gonna be a swamp ass mommy."
please allow me to interject for a moment, we do not allow our son to freely use foul language, however, diarrhea has earned the name swamp ass in our home, due to the laxatives and foods my son eats, there is no other appropriate name....
so....i tell him to go for it in the pull up because there is nothing else i can do....
and like a good little boy, he did.
i turned back around to look at the beautiful view.......
i look at him...
i can see that his shorts are wet from the swamp ass, and so i am trying to think of what to do...let it go until we get to land which would mean a 20 hour car ride with a stinky booster seat.....or come up with some kind of super mommy way to change him...
while going 70 m.p.h.
so, being the fabulous mother that i am, i knidly ask my husband to go the actual speed limit of 55 m.p.h., tell my kid to climb into the front seat with me (the back seat was packed with our crap) and proceed to change him...
while he's standing....
in the front seat of the car....
with swamp ass...
needless to say, i didn't do a shabby job, everything was looking good, until...
i reached to his behind for one last wipe at precisely the moment he decided to produce the one last bit of poo...
my hand was covered, my fingernails were stuffed, the poo was even in the creases of my hand.
my husband screamed, my darling little angel screamed. i however, finished changing him without a drop of poo on his body or new shorts, put him back in his seat and buckled him one handed, then cleaned off my hand the best i could with baby wipes.
the best part? they both told me how gross and disgusting i was until we reached a reststop where i could wash my hands, and then even after for a few days, they wouldn't take anything from me if i handed it to them with my left hand.
my son has taught me the correct way to play mommy and daddy....
my husband stood washing the last of the dishes one night, and my son was watching him quite intently, finally he turned to me....
" you know, mommy, i've been thinking, the mommy is the one who should really be doing the cooking and cleaning...."
i look up at him from the book i'm reading, and i ask him why he thinks that ( in our house i work and my husband is a stay at home dad, it is absolutely the way we choose it to be for the last 3 years now...)
he tells me that all th shows and movies he see's tell him that is the way it should be.
so i ask him while i am doing all the cooking and cleaning, and working, what will he and daddy be doing?
he leans back in his seat, puts his hands behind his head and says with a big
shit eating grin beautiful smile " relaxing and playing and doing what we do best."
my child also taught me that he knows who is boss...
my husband and i always try to present a united front for our child. (we don't want him to be able to play us against eachother.) and when i say always, i mean, more often than not, my husband sets the rules because he is home mostly, (taking into consideration how i feel about things) and i either emforce when needed or discuss a change with my husband. Often times though, when i do haev the chance to set some rule or boundary or give some privelage, my husband bursts in with whatever he has to say. this irritates me to no end, because it doesn't exactly present that united front....
maybe i should start over...
i present a united front and my husband sometimes plays along...
well, the other day, upon being interupted from a serious negotiation between my son and i, my husband was letting us both know that neither choice was an option....
my blessing from the Lord looked up at him with a smirk and said....
"daddy? i've seen the man...
and you're not him."
and turned around to me to finish our discussion over what game to play and what the prize might be.
i am sure there are more pearls of wisDOM (again, do i need to point out that his name is part of that word?)
but i must go for now....
hope everyone has learned a valuable lesson today:)
Posted by jineen at 5:40 AM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
i find myself listening to the same 20 or songs over and over. they are the expression of how i feel lately and they are good at letting me just be me and not feel like i have to put on a face for anyone.
when i was a teenager and living in the heart of my parents home trying desperately not to be like them and yet have them accept me and love me.... ( keep in mind i wasn't a rebelious teenager, i just couldn't live my life the way that they did)...
so anyway, i would sit on my bed for hours and listen to music to drown out everything else.
it was how i could escape and not worry.
i find myself reverting back to that now. using it to drown out reality and often to hide from having to explain to my husband why i am sad or angry. it is also easy for me to blow up at every little thing and the more that i avoid those situations, the less fights i cause.
i am able to calm myself down and not be so angry/sad/uptight for a bit. i don't know why i am feeling like this so on and off lately. i literally feel like i am losing my mind.
i am sleeping and missing out on my kid playing outside the last 2 days, and though i feel like it isn't the end of the world, i still feel guilty. i guess when i chose to be a working mom, i should have know i wouldn't be there for every little thing. they made little pizza's tonight, and i was so jealous that they did it without me. not mad, but jealous. why?
i feel like i have come to a crossroads. be the person everyone wants, always happy and never mad, or be myself and let people take me or leave me. much easier to type than do.
i have a great life, i am thankful for that, my husband is wonderful and sexy and truly loves me. my kid is amazing, can cheer me up with one hug and loves to be around me.
and yet, at times i feel like i hide from them because i inevitably will let them down in some way.
wow, i am reading back over all this and thinking maybe i shouldn't take it so deep on here. i am considering deleting it.....
maybe we all go through this? maybe i thought i grew up a long time ago because i had to, and really the younger me just got pushed inside? maybe i was so busy of putting on the facade of always knowing what to do and always being the caretaker, that now i am realizing i need to be taken care of too?
i ran today for the first time in 2 weeks. i have been so good at faithfully exercising, but i just haven't been able to these last two weeks. but i hopped back onto the running train today.
thanks to shannon and sarah, they are my inspiration and i can't wait unti the day i run my first 5K. maybe i could ask hubby if he would like to train with me, then we could do it together.
i think this is something i just have to learn to be me and stop caring what others think. yet, maybe i am afraid no one will like what they see. i don't think i have been fake all these years, just always putting my best self forward and letting very few people actually get to know the real me.
recently i have made 2 friends who really like me for me. they have been there through the tears and laughter and they just keep coming back for more. i am having a hard time trusting that but over the last 9 months, they have proven themselves true.
can i really be one of those people who doesn't really trust anyone? am i always waiting for the ball to drop?
i push myself, and never allow myself to be sad or scared, i always have the answers, but maybe no one needs me to be that person. maybe i can just be jineen, and people will stay after all.
or maybe i really am losing my mind....i haven't ever felt this way in my whole life, like i don't even belong in my own skin........
well, friends, at least i can come here.......
thankyou all for coming back, and letting me just be me:)
Posted by jineen at 9:37 PM
Monday, June 1, 2009
i'm older,they say everyone has that one thing that gets to them...the friday breakfast, and upcoming stuff.....
and yes, i am refferring to that little nubby part of my ear which now bears a ring:)
Posted by jineen at 11:46 PM
cut up tomatoes........
when the chicken is done cooking, take the pepper and onion strips, put them in a food processor, add lime juice, tomatoes and cilantro to make homemade salsa......
get out tortillas and shredded cheese.....
put it all together and enjoy! it is healthy and yummy........
hope you all had a great weekend!
Posted by jineen at 12:45 AM