sleepy, sleepy, sleepy

if i was a dwarf guess which one i'd be?

as i sit here and type i can barely keep my eyes open and for good reason. I have barely had 3 hours of sleep in the last twenty four hours and have worked way too much in the past three days, not to mention two therapy appts and a dentist appt.

have you ever been so tired and just waiting for the time to pass so that you can get to bed and it seems to drag on and on?

one patient is screaming out my balls are cold, another is askign for gum or coffee and yet another one wants endless supplies of pain medicine. my coworker and i were cleaning up a particularly stinky mess and i was talkig aloud, wondering what is it that made me choose this profession? what made me decide to clean asses for a living and stay up all night to do so?

so my question for you is this, what is the best/worst part of your job and what brought you to your current position?

OMG! i've joined the 21st century!

its kinda like the kid who wears what was cool from last year on the first day of school this year only to discover its no longer cool. and after beggin their mom the entire summer to buy them jsut this one pair of pants please, their mom makes them wear those damn pants every week. anyway...

my point is as you may know i have been making a ton of changes over these past few weeks and some of them include joining the 21st century. such as

i finally have internet on my phone. i was trying to play it cool with having facebook updates texted to my phone, at least then i looked busy and seemed cool, but now i have the real deal and i can stalk check the status of my friends from the toilet or the car.

i have a dishwasher. there is a story why i never had a dishwasher, its long and old, but suffice it to say you should never use dish detergent in a dishwasher. and you certainly should never ever fill the little tray all the way up with said dish detergent. and you should never never ever run the damn thing again once you clean up all the bubbles assuming you got them all out the first time. cuz you did not.

my oven works. ahem. the one at my son's fathers house hasn't worked in years and suffice it to say i got very good at microwaving or stove top cooking. so now i can have casseroles. which i wasn't allowed to make and lets face it sometimes you jsut want a damn mixture of all the shit left over in the fridge. or maybe you dont, but you can make it anyway because you now have an oven.

i have two bathrooms. surely you would understand that three people sharing one bathroom makes for some interesting arrangements. especially when you are in the middle of your shower and someone has to shit. and not just any ole dump either but one that has a smell so powerful you feel like you are bathing in that instead of your peach ginger soap.

anyone else tryin to catch up with the jones'?

things i didnt know until i was a nurse....

yes i went to school for years to learn how to be a nurse.

and then i went though orientation for weeks to learn how to put it into practice.

and now i am back in school to learn how to be even more of a nurse (is that possible?)

but there are some things that they just dont teach you in nursing school or prepare you for in orientation.

there are something you have to learn on your own....i share them with you now....

1.) yes it is in fact possible to hold your bladder for an entire 12 hour shift and not pee yourself

2.)that when you work night shift, most people think you should get by with only 3-4 hours of sleep, "what do you mean you slept from 10am to 5 pm?"

3.)that it would be possible to consume that expected (8) eight oz glasses of water, (it still counts if it is brewed with beans and cream and sugar are added, right?)

4.)it is in fact possible to clean poop, vomit, saliva and urine off of your patient, yourself, their bed and the wall and then go scarf down your lunch with no afterthought.

5.) yes, poop does come in all colors of the rainbow

6.) hearing a little old lady insist that she is in labor, despite the fact that she is 92 and then watching her give birth to a rolled up blanket is not the funniest part of your day

7.)you will begin to read the obituaries

every day

and know at least one person

8.)eyeballing the veins of anyone who stands next to you is normal behavior

9.)you will learn how to cook an entire holiday meal in the breakroom using nothing but a george foreman grill and a crockpot, and not set off the smoke detectors.

10.) it is possible to fall asleep standing up, at the red light, in the middle of a conversation and last but not least while finally sitting down to pee after 12 hours!

what had happened was....

ok so i decided to listen to you shannon:) sort of. and by that i mean no speed to help me out losing weight:) i skipped the cleanse part and am drinking a ton of water instead to try and flush my body out. With a move coming up in 6 days and lots of work to be done i am not fitting any exercise in....but packing and cleaning and then carrying all those boxes has to count for something right?

so my towels from jc penney's came in the mail today and they are beautiful! perfect! jsut what i wanted.

my problem ahs always been this, i won't spend money on myself. i rarely buy myself anything very nice and even when i do i feel guilty about it later. but i am done with that. i made a list of the things that i need for my sona nd myself and i am being frugal, searching the sale papers and buying super nice stuff at a super nice price! so my egyptian cotton, cream colored extra large, fluffy soft towels come in the mail and it almost makes me want to bathe every day jsut to use them.....

almost.....

it is down to the wire with 6 days to go and plenty of stuff to take up time in between, don't even ask me why it took three people 6 hours to get one little boy's room cleaned up and pack up half his crap only to discover we weren't even finished yet....

other than that, i am happy, tired, but happy! how are you?

spring cleaning, but not in the usual way....

yes it is true, the weather is changing! the birds are chirping. the sun is out! we may even hit 70 degrees here in delaware this week! time to do a little spring cleaning.....

and by that i mean my colon.

What had happened was..... i had lost 40 pounds over the last year and was doing an ass kicking job of getting in shape....then around november i jsut kind of well....stopped. nervous breakdown, failed marriage, whatever the reason and now on the last day of march i have found myself with 20 of those pounds right back on my body.

i don't know which was worse, seeing it for myself and trying to convince myself i was being harsh, finally getting on the scale and confirming the numbers or hearing from my friends that indeed it was noticable after all.

whats a girl to do?

well, i was sad for a day. sad and disappointed i mean i worked hard to get rid of this fat! i was fitting in a size smaller and feeling liek i was on my way... and then bam!

but, today i am done with sad and now i have a plan.

a spring cleaning plan.

yup, i am gonna do a cleanse. im not even gonna lie and sugar coat it for you. i may be slightly embarrassed to reveal what is about to go down, but im gonna do it anyway.

quick trim has a 48 hour cleanse and i am gonna buy some and do it and then i am gonna get their pills too. my plan is to get a treadmill in my new apartment, but until i can afford that i have plenty of exercise dvds and i am getting back on track because i need to!

so 48 hour cleanse, diet pills, exercise and food habit changing are my srping cleaning regime.....

this means two things...

here comes the skinny bitch.....

but first its probably just here comes the bitch:)

what's new?

hello dear friends!

I know, I know,
I am THE worst blogger ever. Things have been so busy..... i come here and read yoru blogs and think of all the witty comments i could leave and then i think of something so fantastic to blog about and then i get busy and i just never get around to it. I used to be so faithful.....

So whats new? how have you been?

Wanna know whats new with me? Well i guess i'll spill it...

So in 10 days I am moving into my apartment with my midget. Oh wait, i mean my eight year old.

I have been packing and tying up loose ends for a while and realizing that even though I am not taking very much, alot of crap is accumulated after 9 years!

I have such a mix of emotions, happy, sad, excited, scared, nervous, mad.....so many things... have you ever felt that way? about what?

it is finally beginning to get warm around here and for that i am super happy, means i can start working on my tan sooner rather than later! yay for tans! (i know i know, skin cancer and sun block and all that)...

so i am working and going to school jsut the same as usual and now i am thinking maybe its time for some new pics, gonna have to work on that this week! Catch me up with all of you!

i wish i was witty or at least god

.....but i'm not. i love to read those snarky blogs full of little hirlaious tidbits that make me snort whatever i'm drinking out of my nose. i long to be like them, but alas i am regular.

i have been working all weekend and am now officially about to be on vacation for two weeks. not that i'm going anywhere, just not going to work.

just fine by me because as much as i love to wipe ass and crush meds in applesauce and shove them down people's throats, even that gets tiring.

i am on the search for the perfect apartment for my little guy and myself and have been looking and looking and looking......gets kinda old after a while and i havent even begun to pack. not that i'm taking much, but just the clothes alone scare me....

not too much interesting going on, i saw a yeigermeister girl do a dance move i will be envious of for the rest of my life.....

.....and i believe i am addicted to wii bowling, which is just fine with dom because he loves to make up mii's on there. in fact one day when i was getting a shower he asked to make mii's on the wii and i was like sure, ok....i set him up and had a very peaceful 10 minutes all alone!

when i came out he wanted to show me all the hard work he had done making 7 mii's....and he turns to me and says "mommy, i want to be just like God when i grow up."

"oh yeah? you want to be the maker of the earth?"

"no"

"the father of jesus?"

"no"

"you want people to pray to you?"

"no"

"well what is it about God that you like"

"he's black" and then he proceeds to show me all the mii's he made look exactly like morgan freeman, because evan almighty is his favorite movie and mr. freeman plays god in that movie.