omg

dear new job,
I am truly loving you more and more every day! even though i don't much care for getting up at 5:30 in the morning, and although i don't really speak for about 2 hours unitl i have fully woken up, and even though you keep me on my toes every second of the day.....i love the challenge of learning new things!
The preceptors i have are amazing and i am so thankful to have this opportunity!
Heart you!
new employee

dear smfe,
omg, i am loving our friendship! you have helped me learn that a friend accepts you no matter what and even though they may e very very honest with you about htings, it is out of love and caring and in the end, you always have my back! I want you to know i always have yours too! i love you from the bottom of my heart!
Love you mrs p!
rev p!

dear anonymous,
i can't reveal your identity because it might cause you trouble but yesterday you helped me in a huge way. for that i am grateful. i wasn't expecting it, and you certainly didn't have to do what you did. Thankyou,
from
me

dear person who has gotten on my nerves twice tonigth already,
when i say please don't share this information with anyone....I MEAN IT! it doesn't mean you can tell your sister and your grandmom and whoever else you tell. my business is my business and i certainly will be thinking twice before i share it with you again.
thanks for pissing me off
jineen

dear psycho bitch stalker,
i guess this isn't gonna get any better. i have done absolutely nothing to you. NOTHING. you are spreading lies about me to people. i know this. you are accusing me of doing the same and i haven't done anything. i dont talk about you to anyone. i have nothing bad to say other than you can't seem to mind your own business. you are being ridiculously dramatic. you are embellishing and lying. you are making everything about you when really it isn't about you AT ALL. of course thats typical fashion for you. i tried to end it, tried to make it so that you couldn't continue to stalk me. but somehow you seem to keep doing it.
All i can say is this. i have kept my mouth shut. i didnt have to. god knows you haven't. but let me tell you something right now.
you need to leave me the hell alone.
you want to pretend like im not alive, like i don't exist? then just freaking do it and leave me alone! keep my name out of your mouth! you are crazy, there is something wrong with you. seriously.
stop coming here.
this blog isn't for you.
quit being a pyscho stalker.


dear dom,
i had SO much fun with you at the beach thursday! you are my sweetest little pumpkin and i love you, seein gyour face light up on the boardwalk, seeing how happy you are when we spend time together, walking on the beach with and enjoying your little self is the best part of my life!
mommy loves you more than anything!
mommy

im a flipflopper....

Dear bloggy friends:)
so i know i was on a bit of a rampage during my last post and in fact the one i had typed first was quite nasty. I deleted it about 10 mins after i posted it because that was anger talking and not me.
I have been thinking for the last few days and have decided not to make this private. i don't feel that i should be censored in my own blog. I am entitled to an opinion and i have the right to speak about things the way i see them. None of us know eachother anyway and i dont use names except for my own.

The things that i have shared on here are true. They are real and I will not back down on that or remove it. I stayed quiet for far too long and i will not do it anymore.

i love having this blog and i love my bloggy friends and followers. you all mean a ton to me and your advice and caring have gotten me through some tough times:) i love reading you and sharing with you.

thankyou for hanging in there:)

on a happier note, dom and i went to the beach on mnday with my bestie suzanne and her son:) best time ever! we got a little tan and a little burnt but it was a beautiful day and the kiddo's had a serious ton of fun. pics to come!
heart you all,
Jineen

Dear you's mother,
this blog is not for you. if you don't like what you are reading, stop reading it. if you dont like it because you know its the truth, too bad. at least you didn't live it. stop judging the way i am living my life, you have chosen to make me none of your concern so why do you care? do not be a hypocrite about what is wrong for me but acceptable for your son. I will repeat that this blog is truly none of your business, i do not wish for you to read it, but if you choose to continue to do so, at least have the courtesy to tell the truth about what it contains instead of exagerating and embellishing it.
it didn't have to be this way, thats on you,
Jineen

privacy....

dear bloggy friends,
it has come to my attention that there is someone reading htis blog who doesnt belong. one person who is reading out of spite and then lying about what she reads on here. she is a hypocrite, a dramatic and ridiculous person. i had quite a nasty post on here that i only left up for a few minutes because that isnt who i am.
i am either going to go private or create a new blog where i can truly be me without being judged. please let me know your opinion about which option i should choose and also email me if you would like to follow me privately or follow my new blog.
lizlovey@hotmail.com

and to the lying hypocrite,
if you dont like what you are reading because you cannot handle the truth, stop reading. stop passing on incorrect information. and stop being a judgemental hypocrite. you know who you are.

pleading for your prayers....

i am breaking traditional fashion of letter writing to beg for your prayers for my dear friends the Henn family. you may or may not have heard on the news, Nate Henn was killed in the bombing in Uganda yesterday, he was there doing charitable missions work for a cuase he eventually gave his life to. he was an amazing kid growing up and was laways good for a laugh. Today hs younger brother kyle was injured in a plane crash near his home in North Carolina.
This family is dear to my heart and i covet your paryers for them as they rally together to deal with the tragedy and loss in their life.
Thankyou sweet bloggy friends.....
Jineen

a recap....or short version of the last few months that might end up a long version....

so i've been using the letter format, which i like very much, but i think i'm gonna break that habit for just this one post because there are so many things that i would like to say and they are kinda pouring out and wouldn't really even sound right in letters.....

i moved out in april. it was the hardest and longest thought about decision i have ever made. it has been so up and down and well....... all over the place i sometimes feel like i have to sit down just to think straight.

i have been angry and sad, happy and cheerful, frustrated and scared and a whole host of emotions.

so lets recap....

i moved out in april into an apartment, my first time living alone. i took very little with me and had to learn that when you decide to make macaroni and cheese because your eight year old loves it, you should make sure you have a pot in which to boil the water.

after you run out to the store to get the pot as well as a spoon because you remembered you would need something to stir those noodles, and then you get home and cook it ....

well wouldn't it be funny to learn you dni't own a colander either....

sending you back out to hte store to purchase said colander.

anyway, suffice it to say, i have finally stopped realizing the basic essentials i don't have, i think i am mostly stocked up.

the rooms are furnished, yes we finally havea couch to sit on, which was totally worth the wait....

and even though our mattresses are still on the floor, we are happy.

we enjoy spending days together by the pool, making tacos together, going to the movies together, laying in bed reading books together and just being mother and son.

my family has been amazing and just last night my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and all of us were there surrounding her and i was thinking to myself, how lucky am i?

my heart is full dear friends.

though sometimes i express my frustration and anger here, i have so much more to me than that. i have been taking a crap load of pictures, which i love to do and will eventually get it together long enough to share some on here....

things are well with me:)

and yet another letter....

dear self,

sometimes you really get on my own nerves, you are so down abot yourself. you see faults that no one else sees. why is that do you think? is the rest of the world deaf dumb and blind? or maybe, just maybe you are overly critical of yourself. hmmm, just wanted to let you know that there are plenty of people out there cheering you on, in fact they even wrote a blog post about you (miss bee) and here you are feeling inadequate. why? well i am the confident side of you and i am screaming to get out!
let me out now!
jineen

dear you,
its been a while, you know since i've really had anything to say, that is probably a good thing but i must tell you i am quite baffled by your behavior this past week. i haven't even gotten my thoughts together yet so i won't blurt them all out on here, suffice it to say, it isn't what you think it is, i'm happy and so is dom, we wish you were too and thats it for now.
me

dom,
mommy is so proud of you! you learned how to swim underater this week and you ljumped in from the side with no help! it makes my heart warm and my mouth smile just to watch you grow and learn. your little tan body snuggles up to me at night and that big cheesy smile looks up at me and i feel like i am the queen of the earth:) i am so lucky to be your mommy and be here for every little accomplishment!
always your biggest fan,
mommy

so much to say and i can't find the words..

dear blog,
i have had you for over a year now. i have tried different formats and colors and ways of writing. it seems that we are going through some changes lately that i cna't tell if they are good or bad.
Don't get me wrong, i love you and if i didn't haev you to vent to i might shrivel up with frustration. But sometimes i wonder what could i be doing better? we have our faithful readers but i want to expand, touch more people get to know some others....

i guess i am feeling stumped at this point....

still a work in progress,
jineen

dear jackie,
a mere few hours ago you tucked my most precious little guy into bed, gave him some kisses and sent him off to dream land. this has been very successful for us ever since i moved out, though i don't know how you so willingly have the patience to do it night after night with nothing but a thankyou in return.

shortly after you left, little guy called me and he was crying. apparently he had some very unpleasant diarrhea and didn't know what to do. he knew he couldn't go back to sleep in it and he was far to embarrassed to ask m to help. so he wanted me to come home. he was heartbroken at the thought of laying there all night.....

you, without hesitation came to the rescue. you had no gas and it was well past midnight. but you were there to clean him and comfort him and lov ehim up when i couldn't. i know i def made the right decision when i picked you as godmother:)
love you dearest sister,
jineen

dear world,
someties things seem so unfair. i know that there are many out there with far less than me, but sometimes i feel so overwhelmed and just so....tired.
why do you constantly present me with these challenges and think i am capable of facing them? will i ever be able to sleep for more than four hours at a time?
just wondering, cuz i really am tired....,
jineen