i'm sorry ladies but i'm not eating rainbows and pooping butterflies today...

.....ok, well to be perfectly honest, i never do that, but my husband says something along those lines about well, i don't know, but when he says it, his tone is sarcastic. so anyway, my point is that i am not happy today. well that's not true. i am happy but there is something alittle unpleasant brewin' round here and yours truly is smack dab in the middle.

all i can say is i choose to be honest no matter what.

some serious sh*t is going on at work and some higher ups are getting their just dessert, and sadly someone, not naming names, is the one with some of the evidence. in a way it makes me look bad because i repeated some things that were told to me. why did i repeat them? well they were concerning my very dearest friends and they weren't true. i tried to tell the person it wasn't true. they weren't believin it. if that was all, i wouldn't have cared.

i am sure you can guess it wasn't all.

it led to issues being raised and some heavy duty slander going on. i cannot stand by and watch that happen. so, i took further action.

now i look like the bad guy to some higher ups, and i had to reveal a somewhat friend for what she is. i feel lousy about that, buthonestly it is me or her. and i have no doubt in my mind she will protect herself and so i am doing the same. plus i value honesty and i can't live with myself if i tell a lie.

so now you may be thinking i am cut throat. its ok, a part of me hangs my head in shame at the thought of giving someone else up to save myself. but it isn't just myself, it is 5-6 other people. and this person is a close aquaintance. not a close friend.

now i am really sounding jumbled, but the truth of the matter is, i fear that in some way one of themmay find this blog and i am not begging for trouble.....

so anyway, now i am off for 2 days and i intend to enjoy it to the fullest. i played moon aliens with my little guy, please do not ask me to explain the dynamics of this game, suffice it to say, we are on the moon and we are fighting aliens and cops. there is a hospital that we must protect and we each have a weapon. for some reason we fight eachother with these weapons. want to know who wins?

well my son/co-alien-fighter has the hose as his weapon (with a spray nozzle attached) .....

i have a bubble gun.

we also at some point drew circles on the walkway with sidewalk chalk and those were the CIRCLES of FIRE, which incidently, were not mentioned or used thereafter in the "game".

i quite enjoy this game outside as i am getting a nice golden tan and also spending time with the midget that resides in my home. sometimes this pidget gives me lots of hugs and tells me he loves me.

some times he shits in my bed (in a pull up) and i am forced to wash the sheets to get rid of the smell. NOTHING EVEN LEAKED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

i would like to tell you one more thing before i let you run away from this babbling...

my son has an imaginary friend. he feels it is necessary to keep this friend since he doesn't have a brother or sister. his friends name is one. the friend has a wife named ten. together they have a son and a daughter. the son's name is two and i forget the daughters name. one comes with us on trips to florida, camping and the beach. usually his wife and children do not join us. this summer however, i am curious what will happen when we leave for vacation in less than 3 weeks because one is spending the summer in china.

what does an imaginary friend do in china, all alone and without his family?

well, he eats chinese food and plays rock paper scissors of course.

i wish i still had my imagination.

ahhh, i love summer...

it's true, summe ris my most favorite time of the year, though i truly love all the season. i love the smell of summer, the feel of the hot sun, the tan on my skin, eating frozen popsicles out side....

i just love summer.......

lately ladies, i am having a hard time with confidence. i never really had a ton of it it to begin with and now i am jsut struggling. Sometimes i think well, ok i actually do think i am pretty good at.....fill in the blank.... but the problem for me is that i can't express it because what i others don't feel the same way? so maybe my problem isn't with confidence, maybe my problem is that i care about what others think a little too much....

i want people to like me, i always have been the people pleaser type. it makes me angry because it seems that no one else is bending over backwards the way i am .......

any advice? i have long been struggling with this, always worried about what others think, i want to just be me, and yet for some reason i guess because people don't expect that forthrightness from me they are doubly shocked when they get it.

whatever....

so this morning i knew the day might be rough when i woke up to the smell of shit. very stinky poo.

i had a strong sense this may be coming from the 7 year old laying asleep next to me, i was also strongly hoping it wasnt me and for some reason i had lost control of my anal sphincter in the night....

i guess i was pretty sleepy because i got up and peed and kept thinking, "geez, it really smells." i smelled my tanktop and i could smell it so strongly......

where did this mystery shit stink come from?

yup, it was that beautiful fruit of my loins making his own sweet perfume in his sleep. in my bed!

hubby and son decided to have a sleepover last night when i fell asleep on the couch in the middle of a phone conversation with my friend. yeah, i know i am so good at listening....

she was talking and i was tired, don't judge me, i am mother of the year, not friend....

anyway, they decided to leave me drooling and snoring on the couch while they got comfy on my pillow. at some time in the night i wandered back there, got into pajamas, took out my contacts and went to bed. i guess i didn't bother washing my face which just proves that buying that black pillow case was a smart idea because there was mascara and eyeliner ALL OVER my face.

well, apparently little guy has been having some serious constipation this week and daddy has adjusted his laxatives accordingly and now....

swamp ass 6 times today, beginning with this morning in my bed. thankgod he had a pullup on....

i haven't exercised in almost 2 weeks because of my toe, which hurts more now than when i first broke it! but i am determined to get back on track this week. looking for some new recipes to try as well....

i am looking for some good books to read and some peeps to join me in a book club. some of you expressed interest before,and that made me happy but now it has been a while and i am wondering are you still up? we can make it as little commitment and work as you want, if you are, please email me....dont' use my one set up for this blog though....use lizlovey@hotmail.com :)

i wish i had some earth shattering news to share, but alas, i live the life of a typical person and therefore have nothing fabulous to share, maybe i'll get that bikini wax this week so i can spice things up...

i am in a silly mood....

i can't quite put my finger on why.....

maybe its because i got to spend another day in the sun with my little one, or maybe because i slept for 10 hours last night, or maybe because i know vacation will be here in less than a month....

i have to tell you one of my most favorite, enjoyable things in life is this scenario...

wake up in the morning, sunshine pouring through the white curtains(which i have) and i am snuggled in my white sheets and white down comforter with the air cold....

i get my little one breakfast and have a smoothie made from soymilk, frozen strawberries and banana....

i read my book while he watches cartoons...

then we go outside and play the day away in the hose, with bubbles and sidewalk chalk, eat popsicles, and just bask in the warmth of the sun...

then when we come in and get showered and the airconditioner is cold, and we have some lunch and then just cuddle on the couch and he tells me about his dreams and thoughts....

yup ladies it doesn't get any better than that:)

i am feeling particularly important today because i am thinking back to when i first started blogging and had no idea that there were so many other bloggers out there! that would follow and comment if you followed and commented on them too! and now i feel like i find a treasure when i log on here and see that someone took the time to read and comment on something i had to say. each and everyone of you is so important to me:)

i don't know if you ever sit around and think about your childhood but i do sometimes, and my husband was there for a lot of it so he totally gets how my family was. we never had much money, but my mom tried her hardest back then. i was telling my husband how umbro shorts were the thing to have for a while. all my friends had them and i wanted them so bad. i mean soooo bad! but we couldn't afford them. my dear sweet mother went to the kmart and got me ....

umbra's.

you know the kmart brand of the cool thing?

i hated them and refused to wear them. i would rather go without than wear something so obviously not right.

looking back, i feel kinda bad that my mom at least tried and i shunned her efforts, but seriously, what would the kids with the real umbro's have thought?

besides, i had all the jellies in every color, so i was cool anyway. remember jellies?

always the trendsetter back in the days of elementary school i started one trend that i am sure will go down in the history books as the best fashion statement a second grader can make....

each day of the week we had an "elective" class and by that i mean library, art, gym etc....
well this little genius decided that on gym day, just to make it easy to be both sporty and cute, i was going to wear one dress shoe and one sneaker. it was totally fabulous and didn't look at all silly. i could be playing 4 square one second and flirting with boys the next.....i wore matching socks, of course. all the girls soon picked up this fashion statement and pretty soon i was known throught the land.....

of course i had my embarrassing moments as well. when i was in kindergarten, at the end of the day the teacher would pick out a few kids to come to the front of the class. they would then get to do some exercise/show thing that consisted of pretending they were in a bubble. i have no idea what we were really doing, or if my teacher was high on crack, but whatever. the point is...you wanted to be one of those kids. finally, FINALLY it was my turn. and i was so cute that day in my white stockings and my dress, my homemade hair cut and of course one jellie and one sneaker. i raised my hand to be picked and she picked me! i had to pee really bad and asked if i could go before we started. she said no because there wasn't time.

so anyway, i get up there and i am totally doing my bubble thingy when all of the sudden i felt something warm. yup. i was freakin peeing. all down my leg. and with white stockings? i was so pissed. literally.

then there was the time in 1st grade and again in 4th when i pretended that my birthday was the day before the actual day because i didn't want to share it with this kid who had a wart on his chin. he had a really big head too and a buzz cut perpetually grown out alittle too much which, in my opinion only made his head look bigger and more bobble like. i also refused to give him a valentines day card because i thought he had a crush on me. turns out years later, he is gay. i totally have no problem with that. in fact had i known.....i might have been a bit more nice, maybe even shared our birthday.

and my biggest nemesis of all? the free lunch.

there were four of us. and my parents. if you aren't that good at math, 6 total.

we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. then a 3 bedroom townhouse. we always had clothes.i am not trying to sound ungrateful. all my friends had packed lunches. but not me. i had free lunch. which means the government basically decided we fit into the poverty category and gave me a hot meal at lunch monday through friday. not unlike jail. except we had construction paper art on the walls, and we got to go home at the end of the day. anyway....

every day at lunch time my friends with their fabulous packed lunches would sit down and open their little treasure chests to reveal the delicious goodies within.....

one girl would have tomato soup in a thermos (it was still hot!) and a cheese sandwhich with friut snacks to boot, one would have yogurt with an icepack next to it (it was still cold!) and grapes and pretzels and a mini candy bar..... and they would all have money to get chocolate milk.

i had to walk through the line at school and get my cooled off, gray hamburger with no lettuce of even cheese, pile of "steamed garden fresh veggies" and fruit cup. these lunches cost 90 cents and with the extra 10 cents i could have gotten a chocolate milk. except since mine was already free, there was no change. then we had to go thru to the register and kids would hand over their dolalr, or give their name for the pre-paid list (their parents paid a month at a time) and then little free-lunch me. I tried to escape by calling out pre-paid and bee lining it for the other side of the room which actually worked for a few days until one really mean old bitch very nice old lady called me back and told me quite loudly in front of everyone that prepaid meant she had to cross me off a list and so since i had free lunch i couldnt be yelling pre-paid and running away......

needless to say i was mortified, but no one really noticed. or at least they had some manners and waited to get home and ask their mothers what in the heck a free lunch was.

years later, i remember talking to friends about it (not the same ones) and they mentioned how they wish they could have had the school lunch not a packed lunch and how a free lunch would have even been cooler....

so funny how for a kid it always seems greener.......

so anyway, it seems as if i was kinda mean at times when i was a kid.....but don't judge, after all i did grow up to be mother of the year, and i think that more than makes up for not sharing my birthday with the warty, chia pet kid.

i am as clumsy as ever....

yes ladies it's true, i said it yesterday and i'll say it again, i broke my toe. the itty bitty little baby one. i was running like a nut to get out of the house and get to work on time and ran right into a weight machine. i am not sure why my spatial vision has failed me, but it did a long time ago and these little accidents are not really uncommon for me. yet actually breaking it.... thankfully i work at a hospital and a doctor friend there taped me up as good as new. sort of.

when it started to swell and cut off circulation i had to change the tape....then it turned all kinds of pretty black, purple and red and i gave up looking at it.

then something wonderful happened! i opened my front door and a brown box was sitting on my deck waiting for me. it was my candle from sarah and i was so excited i started to jump up and down until i felt the pain in my foot and remembered oh yeah, my toe. but i clapped my hands instead and grasped the box close to my chest and did not look at all like a terrorist when my husband found me sitting on the deck like that.

this was a hard week at work and tuesday night i was at my wits end! so i decided to lift everyone's spirits and make an iced coffe bar. now realizing the limits of both my coffee making abilities and also our break room at work i cleaned it up, brewed a pot of double strength coffe, set out big cups of ice, sugar, sweet and low and creamers all pretty like and then invited people to come on in a relax with an iced coffee.

so silly, i know and really not at all fancy, but everyone really seemed to perk up afterwards. i'm sure it had nothing to do with the double strength coffee coursing through their veins....

i am off work until monday night now and really looking forward to relaxing with my guys at home....soaking up some sun...dinner out tonight with my girlfriends....and not working! did i mention noto working. this always happens to me when it gets to be less than a month before vacation. i just keep thinking about being away and i guess i get a little crabbier about work....

so i have two things i want to dicuss and beg for your opnion/advice/comical stories about...

the first is bra shopping. a few years ago some genius decided it might be a good idea to give me a victorias secret credit card. and since then, they also decided that every couple of months they should increase the limit to entice me to buy more. it was really a veyr clever plan for them because back then i couldn't fit into anything they sold. guess they weren't prepared for me to lose some weight. the first big purchase i made was to buy my ugg boots after hearing how much cammie loved hers....
then as i lost some weight i started to buy some underwear, then i bought a bra.

well ladies, that was the beginning of the end. it was the best bra i ever bought. it loved my girls the way no other bra ever has. so recently i bought a few more and i was stuck on how to measure for one. i went to a couple of websites, did some measuring and finally decided to go with a slightly smaller band size and bigger cupsize.

it totally worked. I am in love with the lift and curve of this bra! so i want ot know your preference. i like lightly lined, underwire and lots of colors to choose from. what do you like? any specific bands?

and nwo to my next question. maybe a year ago i discovered the blessing of waxing my eyebrows and mustache/chin hairs ahem....extraneous hairs. then of course, the place i went to closed and i discovered the microwave wax kist. which i was skeptical about. turns out they aren't half bad, but i really prefer for someone else to rip out hair on my face. it is pretty hard to inflict that kind of torture on yourself regularly. so anyway....

i am going ot the beach in less than a month and i am so tired of shaving......down there. yup my vagina. not the whole thing, because i am not 10 and do not wish to look so, of course if you do that's great and more power to you, but me, not so much. but i also don't wish to feel like a band of tiger mosquitoes has taken over my crotch either which is usually the result of hair removal via razor. so .....

i want to get a bikini wax. but i also do not want to get herpes. if the place is clean, i think i might survive. i am also afraid of what it will feel like. or look like.

so any advice on down there hair removal.

i have tried nair. i curse whoever invented it. i got a chemical burn twice! so i am thinking since i am not rich and cna't afford laser treaments, waxing is my answer. help me out girls give me the lowdown!

hope you are having a great week! i will raise my drinking glass to you all weekend long!

i am still here....

oh ladies how i have missed you all, and i have been reading you over the past few days to keep myself sane, but haven't had much time to comment, i am sorry for that and will remedy it shortly, but for now i will leave you with this, the last few days have been hard, and i am tired.

i have broken a toe, worked 36 hours in less than 3 days, cried, yelled, smiled and cried some more.....

there are pictures and fun things i want to tell you and show you and stories to laugh at, but that is just a teaser because i have a phone call to make and then off to bed, but ....

thankfully i have 5 days off now and i

CAN'T WAIT!

so first to catch up some sleep and then to catch up on some blog.....