Friday, July 17, 2009

ahhh, i love summer...

it's true, summe ris my most favorite time of the year, though i truly love all the season. i love the smell of summer, the feel of the hot sun, the tan on my skin, eating frozen popsicles out side....

i just love summer.......

lately ladies, i am having a hard time with confidence. i never really had a ton of it it to begin with and now i am jsut struggling. Sometimes i think well, ok i actually do think i am pretty good at.....fill in the blank.... but the problem for me is that i can't express it because what i others don't feel the same way? so maybe my problem isn't with confidence, maybe my problem is that i care about what others think a little too much....

i want people to like me, i always have been the people pleaser type. it makes me angry because it seems that no one else is bending over backwards the way i am .......

any advice? i have long been struggling with this, always worried about what others think, i want to just be me, and yet for some reason i guess because people don't expect that forthrightness from me they are doubly shocked when they get it.

whatever....

so this morning i knew the day might be rough when i woke up to the smell of shit. very stinky poo.

i had a strong sense this may be coming from the 7 year old laying asleep next to me, i was also strongly hoping it wasnt me and for some reason i had lost control of my anal sphincter in the night....

i guess i was pretty sleepy because i got up and peed and kept thinking, "geez, it really smells." i smelled my tanktop and i could smell it so strongly......

where did this mystery shit stink come from?

yup, it was that beautiful fruit of my loins making his own sweet perfume in his sleep. in my bed!

hubby and son decided to have a sleepover last night when i fell asleep on the couch in the middle of a phone conversation with my friend. yeah, i know i am so good at listening....

she was talking and i was tired, don't judge me, i am mother of the year, not friend....

anyway, they decided to leave me drooling and snoring on the couch while they got comfy on my pillow. at some time in the night i wandered back there, got into pajamas, took out my contacts and went to bed. i guess i didn't bother washing my face which just proves that buying that black pillow case was a smart idea because there was mascara and eyeliner ALL OVER my face.

well, apparently little guy has been having some serious constipation this week and daddy has adjusted his laxatives accordingly and now....

swamp ass 6 times today, beginning with this morning in my bed. thankgod he had a pullup on....

i haven't exercised in almost 2 weeks because of my toe, which hurts more now than when i first broke it! but i am determined to get back on track this week. looking for some new recipes to try as well....

i am looking for some good books to read and some peeps to join me in a book club. some of you expressed interest before,and that made me happy but now it has been a while and i am wondering are you still up? we can make it as little commitment and work as you want, if you are, please email me....dont' use my one set up for this blog though....use lizlovey@hotmail.com :)

i wish i had some earth shattering news to share, but alas, i live the life of a typical person and therefore have nothing fabulous to share, maybe i'll get that bikini wax this week so i can spice things up...

6 comments:

Night Owl Mama said...

There is a saying ...You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all the time!

and I say the one's that you can not make happy can take a flying leap.

Don't strees yourself out as long as those who are important to you and YOU yourself are happy this is what counts.

I have no time to read. I used to enjoy alot until I added a 4th child.
Good luck

Sarah said...

I have heard of acrylic tips on toes believe it or not! Weird.
Okay, so the people pleaser thing...I am a recovering people pleaser. I MUST say that it is a conscience decision when I say "no" to people or when I take a stand (big or little). For instance, just last week up north I did NOT want to go out one night. I was a little bothered but it meant enough that I said to Sean "Would it be a huge deal if you went alone tonight, I'd like to stay in and read?" His reply "No, not at all, that's fine babe." It sounds trivial but three years ago I would have gone out and been miserable. It's all about tact. If it's something you don't want to do carefully word it and it'll be FINE. This took me about 28 years to perfect and I seriously have found that people respect me more now (mainly with my relationship) that ever before. I had been shit on for so many years, I told Sean when we first started dating that I felt bad because he met me at a point where I refused to take ANY shit from ANYONE. It's worked out well. He respects me and when I do put my foot down he obliges :) Baby steps...give it a shot!

Shannon said...

On the books.. I'd love to do a book club, BUT, I'm the slowest reader ever and have a pile of books that I MUST read before I buy or read anymore! LOL Seriously, I should be ban'd from online book shopping. I have one coming to my house right now! LOL

But, next on my list to buy (after reading the others) is My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoutt. Also, there is a book by Lauren Conrad called L.A.Candy that I've heard mixed reviews about.. Might be a good summer read.

Sunshine Mama said...

Hello, sorry you're feeling down. That sucks about your-is it stepson? doing that in the bed? I hope things get better. I'm not sure if I'm a people pleaser...oh, just asked my husband and he said no...though I hate confrontation. I love reading books though. Do you have any suggestions?

Holly said...

I love summer too, but sadly it's winter here at the moment. :(

the girl with the pink teacup said...

Gorgeous Jineen, confidence is such a tricky thing. I think you and I are very similar in that we care a lot about what others think, and that we're 'people pleasers'. I really don't have any advice to give, because I'm still working on it, to be honest! But I think Night Owl Mama above has hit the nail on the head with that age-old saying. Just know that at least one person in the world (me!) thinks you're wonderful, and that you deserve to feel confident in your talents and skills. Love to you, my dear.