spring cleaning, but not in the usual way....

yes it is true, the weather is changing! the birds are chirping. the sun is out! we may even hit 70 degrees here in delaware this week! time to do a little spring cleaning.....

and by that i mean my colon.

What had happened was..... i had lost 40 pounds over the last year and was doing an ass kicking job of getting in shape....then around november i jsut kind of well....stopped. nervous breakdown, failed marriage, whatever the reason and now on the last day of march i have found myself with 20 of those pounds right back on my body.

i don't know which was worse, seeing it for myself and trying to convince myself i was being harsh, finally getting on the scale and confirming the numbers or hearing from my friends that indeed it was noticable after all.

whats a girl to do?

well, i was sad for a day. sad and disappointed i mean i worked hard to get rid of this fat! i was fitting in a size smaller and feeling liek i was on my way... and then bam!

but, today i am done with sad and now i have a plan.

a spring cleaning plan.

yup, i am gonna do a cleanse. im not even gonna lie and sugar coat it for you. i may be slightly embarrassed to reveal what is about to go down, but im gonna do it anyway.

quick trim has a 48 hour cleanse and i am gonna buy some and do it and then i am gonna get their pills too. my plan is to get a treadmill in my new apartment, but until i can afford that i have plenty of exercise dvds and i am getting back on track because i need to!

so 48 hour cleanse, diet pills, exercise and food habit changing are my srping cleaning regime.....

this means two things...

here comes the skinny bitch.....

but first its probably just here comes the bitch:)

what's new?

hello dear friends!

I know, I know,
I am THE worst blogger ever. Things have been so busy..... i come here and read yoru blogs and think of all the witty comments i could leave and then i think of something so fantastic to blog about and then i get busy and i just never get around to it. I used to be so faithful.....

So whats new? how have you been?

Wanna know whats new with me? Well i guess i'll spill it...

So in 10 days I am moving into my apartment with my midget. Oh wait, i mean my eight year old.

I have been packing and tying up loose ends for a while and realizing that even though I am not taking very much, alot of crap is accumulated after 9 years!

I have such a mix of emotions, happy, sad, excited, scared, nervous, mad.....so many things... have you ever felt that way? about what?

it is finally beginning to get warm around here and for that i am super happy, means i can start working on my tan sooner rather than later! yay for tans! (i know i know, skin cancer and sun block and all that)...

so i am working and going to school jsut the same as usual and now i am thinking maybe its time for some new pics, gonna have to work on that this week! Catch me up with all of you!

i wish i was witty or at least god

.....but i'm not. i love to read those snarky blogs full of little hirlaious tidbits that make me snort whatever i'm drinking out of my nose. i long to be like them, but alas i am regular.

i have been working all weekend and am now officially about to be on vacation for two weeks. not that i'm going anywhere, just not going to work.

just fine by me because as much as i love to wipe ass and crush meds in applesauce and shove them down people's throats, even that gets tiring.

i am on the search for the perfect apartment for my little guy and myself and have been looking and looking and looking......gets kinda old after a while and i havent even begun to pack. not that i'm taking much, but just the clothes alone scare me....

not too much interesting going on, i saw a yeigermeister girl do a dance move i will be envious of for the rest of my life.....

.....and i believe i am addicted to wii bowling, which is just fine with dom because he loves to make up mii's on there. in fact one day when i was getting a shower he asked to make mii's on the wii and i was like sure, ok....i set him up and had a very peaceful 10 minutes all alone!

when i came out he wanted to show me all the hard work he had done making 7 mii's....and he turns to me and says "mommy, i want to be just like God when i grow up."

"oh yeah? you want to be the maker of the earth?"

"no"

"the father of jesus?"

"no"

"you want people to pray to you?"

"no"

"well what is it about God that you like"

"he's black" and then he proceeds to show me all the mii's he made look exactly like morgan freeman, because evan almighty is his favorite movie and mr. freeman plays god in that movie.

its good to be me:)

"mommy?"

"yes dom"

"when i was a baby living in your tummy, how did i get out?"

"you know"

"i want you to say it"

"dom, you came out of my vagina."

lots of giggling ensues on the part of the 8 yr old son.

"mommy?"

"yes dom"

"is a vagina an inside out penis?"



yup, one saturday morning as we were getting a gourmet breakfast together, and by that I mean yummy poptarts broken in half and put on a paper towel just the way the midget likes them......

that was the conversation we had.

my son and i have been growing more and more close over the last few weeks, and for that I am especially grateful. my mom and i have been growing more and more close over the past few weeks and for that I am grateful.

i have a group of friends who love me and support me and for that i am grateful.

i am hopefully back to the bloggin scene, and for that you i am grateful:)

i climbed up out of the snow to deliver this.....

so those of you living anywhere near me know that I am talking about almost 2 feet of snow, which for sarah may not be a ton, but for us in delaware it is a rare occurrence! I got stuck at work all weekend because i couldn't get home and co-workers couldn't get in......that was fun, sleepover at work.....mrsa covered beds....hospital food....
at least i had clean underwear....

anyway, it has been almost a month since i last posted and i feel pretty bad about that. i used to be such a faithful blogger and then it became the source of fighting for hubby and I and so i backed off, and then I went private and I really backed it off. I am debating now whether or not to remain private or reopen myself to the world. i am tired of hiding, and this was supposed to be an outlet, instead I let myself be convinced it wasn't a good way to get my thougths out and therefore i gave up.

But i have missed my dear friends and i don't keep up with you all the way that i should, so give me your thoughts on that if you wouldn't mind, remain private or go back out into the world?

play along

have you ever felt llike you were just playing along in your own life just to get through? sometimes i feel
like that. that i am just going through the motions, that everyone else is saying and doing what they want and i am just doing and saying what is expected of me.

how do you break away from that? it is one of the things i struggle with because it is easier for me to help everyone else be happy instead of myself. it is easier to say the things that i know they want to hear rather than say the truth.

i have been looking at apartments and have even found myself alittle excited. i have never lived on my own before and tho i know it will not always be exciting or eay, it will be different and maybe i wont feel the pressure to pretend so much anymore. and i wont be scared.

so friends, how have you been? i have been reading all your blogs to catch up and i admit i haven't been as good with the comments simply because i just want to see how you have all been:) i love you all.......

so here i am

so i figured if I am gonna have a blog, and be a little faithful to it, i will need to write more than one post per month.

the problem is, i don't really know what to write about. I mean i have a ton of stuff going on, as ia m sure you can assume from my last post. and yet it seems so jumbled i fear putting it into words here, i don't want to sound nuts or even worse.......whiny.

i applied for a new unit and am anxiously waiting to hear if i got the job or not. it would take off some of the stress that this current postion gives me. keep your fingers crossed, i feel the interview went well, but that was a week ago already.

little man is doing great, my mom is teaching him school now and that has been a tremendous thing for many reasons. you may remember my mom and i dont have the best relationship, but her and my son are two peas in a pod and when she offered to do it, i was overjoyed. he has learned more in the past two months than i have taught him alll year. and he loves the time with her. and she loves the time with him. she says she has a reason to get up now, and i get to see her and we are working on it, ya know?

the other stuff, well its just too much for now. but thankyou for coming back.