things i didnt know until i was a nurse....

yes i went to school for years to learn how to be a nurse.

and then i went though orientation for weeks to learn how to put it into practice.

and now i am back in school to learn how to be even more of a nurse (is that possible?)

but there are some things that they just dont teach you in nursing school or prepare you for in orientation.

there are something you have to learn on your own....i share them with you now....

1.) yes it is in fact possible to hold your bladder for an entire 12 hour shift and not pee yourself

2.)that when you work night shift, most people think you should get by with only 3-4 hours of sleep, "what do you mean you slept from 10am to 5 pm?"

3.)that it would be possible to consume that expected (8) eight oz glasses of water, (it still counts if it is brewed with beans and cream and sugar are added, right?)

4.)it is in fact possible to clean poop, vomit, saliva and urine off of your patient, yourself, their bed and the wall and then go scarf down your lunch with no afterthought.

5.) yes, poop does come in all colors of the rainbow

6.) hearing a little old lady insist that she is in labor, despite the fact that she is 92 and then watching her give birth to a rolled up blanket is not the funniest part of your day

7.)you will begin to read the obituaries

every day

and know at least one person

8.)eyeballing the veins of anyone who stands next to you is normal behavior

9.)you will learn how to cook an entire holiday meal in the breakroom using nothing but a george foreman grill and a crockpot, and not set off the smoke detectors.

10.) it is possible to fall asleep standing up, at the red light, in the middle of a conversation and last but not least while finally sitting down to pee after 12 hours!