Monday, June 7, 2010

a coupla things

dear dom,
oh son, how you make me smile every day:) we spent all of saturday at the pool with plenty of friends and family to join in the fun:) i loved seeing you swim around, make new friends and be outside in the beautiful sun:)

yesterday at aunt kelly's babyshower you were so well behaved, i was proud to be your mom:)

last night when i had to leave for work and you had tears in your eyes, i did too, oh how i miss you when i leave. then you called me and said you just missed me too much to wait to talk to me. It makes me smile to think of you picking up the cell phone and dialing my number anxiously hoping for me to answer.

I love you more every day:)

love, mommy

dear jackie,

again you tucked and snuggled my son into bed. he is so sad when i leave for work and you are there to comfort him and let him know things will be ok. you do it without complaint, without concern for your own plans and without repayment of any kind.

i love you and am grateful that we have eachother again:)

love
jineen

dear you,

so, you wanted me to pay your rent again. im not quite sure what isn't clear to you about i am not paying any more bills for you. i have plenty of opinion about you breaking the court order to contact me though.
i have tried to be understanding, and tried to hold my head high, but i have to say when you called me a dumb cow, that really got me. im not sure why, because quite frankly i have moved on, i guess it hurt because you continue to spread the word about how terrible i am and those loser friends of yours jsut keep sticking their heads up your ass and agreeing. for the record... they haven't even met me. so they can agree all they want, doesn't mean you are right.

the power you once had over me is gone. i am no longer scared or worried about what you will say or think and that is freeing as hell. but for some reason i am still embarrassed for people to know the things you did.

why am i embarrassed? who the hell knows. YOU did it. i guess i didn't want anyone to know i had to live with those things. i felt sad and pathetic. you probably loved that. seems to me you weren't ever really sorry either. seems to me like you were proud to see what you could get away with.

sometimes i feel so bitter towards the fact that you are saying whatever you want about me and telling everyone whatever you want and i choose to stay much more anonymous. maybe the day will come that i won't be so quiet anymore. but you know what i really think will happen?

all those so called friends and family will eventually see you for exactly what and who you are and they won't be around so much anymore either. they don't even need me to tell them. all they need is time with you and they will know.

i wish you would call our son more often. hearing from you once or twice a week really isn't alot and i know it hurts him. i see his little face so sad. i know that he misses you terribly, do you miss him? and what are your parents thinking? what in the hell have you told them that has them convinced that they aren't even going to try and see their grandson? i have so many things to say about that, but for now i am choosing my words carefully so i will leave it at that.

even after all this, i am hoping you are getting it together. dom needs you.
jineen

3 comments:

Shannon said...

I have no doubt that one day everyone will learn the truth about all of this. Keep your head up! Dom has a wonderful mother!

Kristina P. said...

Your ex is a real piece of work.

The Rambler said...

Jineen. I'm reaching out and giving you a huge hug. HUGE.