Thursday, September 3, 2009

hair cuts, you ate what?

so i don't really have too much interesting to say. i wish i did. i swear all throughout the day things will happen and i'll think, oh i have to blog about that, but when i actually grab 5 mins to sit down, i can't remember a single thing. so instead i am choosing to write about random things that have popped into my blank little head.

i apologize in advance....

my son has been getting his hair cut by the same girl since he was one. she is a miracle worker as he has some VERY STRANGE cowlicks. 2 in the front and all the hair on the entire left side of his head grows from his ear forward. i can't get into my theories on why right now, but i promise i didn't drink or smoke when i was pregnant. much.

just kidding.

sort of.

no really, i didn't. i abstained completely.

so anyway, she cuts his hair every 8 weeks for 10 bucks. it doesn't get much better than that. i wish my own mother had seen the benefit of a hair dresser. however, she saw the benefit of a free hair cut.

at home.

with kitchen scissors.

over the sink.

all my childhood i dreamed of long hair, beautiful and shiny, cascading down my back.

all my childhood i had a choppy short hair cut. at least she added layers.

if by layers i mean an angle starting at my ear and unevenly angling down to a point just below my shoulders. with bangs.

sort of.

don't worry i got her back though.

i refused to brush my hair from age 9 to 13. with all those tangles no one could even tell how uneven my hair was.

or that kitchen shears were involved.

when my husband and i got married we had a dog. a german rottweiler named zoey. she was the runt of the litter, but by the time she was 6 montsh you never would have known. she was a sweet heart and easy to live with. we adored her, our first child and loved to spend time with her.

she was easy to house train. as a puppy, her owners trained her to poop on a cement pad, which i guess made it easy for clean up after so many dogs. so.... by the time we got her at 3 months, she wouldn't poop anywhere else. we would walk in the park and she would run to the side walk to poop.

we loved everything about her.

the only thing that ever went wrong was shortly after we got married, my underwear started disappearing.

literally, i was dwindling down to such a bare minimum of pairs that i began to wonder if my husband was stealing them.

and wearing them.

just kidding.

again.

so anyway, it finally became apparent that someone was responsible for the missing crotch covers. someone or.....

something....

one day we left and had to turn right around and come home to get something or other and we solved the mystery.

the dog was using her mouth to open my middle top drawer and take out a pair of underwear, which she then chewed to pieces and ate. then she jumped up on my side of the bed and laid ther contented.

seems she had been responsible all along as her various piles of doggy doo contained brightly colored strands of fabric.

ew.

we had to start closing the door.


so now you know two things about me that you never knew before.

i had home haircuts and a panty eating dog.

don't you feel fulfilled?

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh I missed you too!! I was wondering where the heck you were but didn't want to be a stalker...or obvious stalker I should say. I have to read your two previous posts at work tonight....WELCOME BACK CHICKY!!

Kristina P. said...

I wonder if she would make a good drug sniffing dog.

Shannon said...

My parents dog did the exact same thing! Except, he'd run around the house with them first. Embarrassing.

Holly said...

Lol oh dear! My hair is super curly so I'm glad my mother never tried to cut it herself!

LOL at he underwear eating dog, that is very and extremely strange!

Kay said...

My poor brother always looked like he had a wool cap on, because my mother didn't do the haircut thing at the barber OR at home...
And my dog? Eats socks. They're her favoritest toy in the world... give her one, and she's happy for an hour. I try to keep her away from the underwear, though :)