it is freakin cold out, i love these jeans, i kicked the gyms ass today! and how many more days of work?

ok, so now it seems that is becoming a habit to list far too much info in my title, maybe i am hoping to entice people to read what i have to say, as if it is so super interesting....

so it is precisely 17 degress outside, and the windchill is ZERO! i nearly froze coming out of work this morning. I swear just last week i was walking around without the heat on and even last night it was cold, but today it is COLD! the snot was trying to freeze inside my nose, and being that i have never possessed the talent to blow my own nose, i was stuck with a sort of stiffness that wasn't painful, but fully there. anyway, anytime snot can freeze while still inside your body....thats too cold. anyone have a spare room in their home that they are willing to generously donate to one freezing female?

i was shopping for my husband and my son was with me and we were having a grand time.....
for some reason as we were in the jc penney's, i decided i needed to try on a pair of jeans. i am not sure why i tried to ruin a perfectly good day with this exercise, but apparently i can't resist a chance to make myself feel terrible. i never have good luck trying on jeans, and the only thing i have ever come away with is a sweaty face (why do they make those dressing rooms so HOT?) and poor self esteem. so anyway i tried on a few pairs and i swear even though they were all the same size, none of them fit the same, or really even at all. so, in one last desperate attempt, i grabbed a pair, right size, right rise (i cannot wear those low rise barely above the pubic hair jeans) and went to the dressing room. my son looks up at me and says "mommy i won't ask any questions so you can concentrate, i really am getting tired" thanks for your support son. So he continues to pretend we are in a hotel room and leaves me be, i try on the jeans, i can't believe they are sliding up my legs with ease, and my eyes get even wider as they are going over my hips with ease, and then before i knew it i was buttoning and zipping them....and they are PERFECT! medium blue wash, midrise, boot cut, size (yeah right) liz the company jeans, on sale at jc penneys. all i can say is wow! i wore them the other day and i felt like a million bucks. :)

so, you pobably don't know (cuz i haven't been doing this that long) but i have struggled with my weight for yers. I was thin as a kid, teenage and newly wed, but the moment i conceived i began putting on weight and haven't stopped since (my son is 7). i guess i will be brutally honest here, but i must warn you if you have recently eaten or have a weak gag reflex, you may not want to read this...

i weighed approx. 125-130 pounds, mostly since i was 12, i also am 5 foot 6 inches tall. so i was a little on the thin side, the day i gave birth, i weighed 246. yup, i kid you not. i literally doubled my weight during pregnancy, now there were a lot of health factors, and i struggled just to keep that kid inside me...but the fact still remains, after getting put on bedrest, i discovered the joy of laying in my bed, eating my heart out and talk shows.

i had my son at 35 weeks, he was a whopping 9lbs, 7 oz, ( and yes it was vaginal delivery) and this past november, i still weighed th 246.

it disgusts me to write it. err....type it.

and *gasp* heaven forbid someone i know reads this!

so i started working out and eating better and even drinking fluids better, at this point i am down to 223. and i am doing 41 minutes on the treadmill. today i had the incline at 2, and i ran 3 minutes at 4.1 mph and walked 1 minute at 3.6 mph. walk, run, walk, run. and i made it all the way through without feeling like i might die before i finish! so, month one down......

again, since we are just getting to know eachother, i should explain my job. I am an RN working ona cardiac stepdown unit. i work 80 hours over 2 weeks. this includes 6 twelve hour shifts and 1 eight hour shift every 2 weeks. i can schedule it how i want, with management adjusting only as needed. so even though my lazy butt has been off since last thursday night (oh by the way i work 7pm to 7am) i went back last night and i will be there every night until i leave sunday morning. That makes for a long weekend!
keep me in mind while you are enjoying your weekend, i will be saving lives (or at least wiping some ass) and healing people!

i guess that is it, everyone wish cammie a fabulous girls weekend!!!!!

and jodie congrats!!!!


jineen

cozy comfy uggs and guilt, children and tics, snow and me, a birthday, far beyond impossible questions and a thankyou to my Jesus

okay, possibly the longest title from me ever. (in fact it is definitely the longest, after reading that Cammie is about to have, or already does, a hundred posts i counted my own, a whopping 20)

shout out to boomama and dave barnes (click the link to see what i'm talking about)
anyway, i have alot to say today and my heart is full. i suppose the best way to share everything with you is to take it in order from the title:)

I have been wanting a pair of comfy, cozy, super soft, warm uggs since, oh i don't know, for 2 years? i see them on everyone, everywhere, i read about people enjoying their fabulousness, and i am GREEN with envy:) so today, the pair my husband insisted i get for myself came in the mail. I have a lot of guilt over buying things for myself, and usually i do not. i am unsure of where said guilt comes from, just that it is there. and then of course they came today (i only just ordered them saturday) on my husbands birthday. he ran in with the box so excited for me and i was VERY hesitant to even open them, not wanting to steal his thunder and all. he laughed that off and i ripped open the box heart pounding....would they be all that i thought they were?


the answer? a resounding yes! and ladies? the guilt disappeared the moment i slipped by bare feet into them and felt their comforting goodness. I mean boots that keep your feet body temperature no matter what? boots that you can tuck pants into or put them over top off? boots that you wear BAREFOOT!

oh yes, they are mine and i wore them out to breakfast already!

children and tics...well, i dont know where to begin with that one. as you get to know me better you will probably realize all on your won that i am somewhat OCD. i like certain things in order and a particular way. yesterday while out on a date with my son, we had pizza. he loves to sit across the table form me and pretend that everyone thinks we are husband and wife and he insists on a real discussion while we eat. He starts with "so how are you today ife?" and continues on asking and answering questions with a smile. during all this, i notice he is doing the same things to his drink and food each time he eats or sips. it is apparent to me that he doesn't even realize he is doing it. I start laughing and when he asks me why i tell him that i saw him touch the very tip of his straw with the very tip of finger each time before he took a drink. and that each time he ate, he madesure the piece of pizza was precisely perfectly placed on his plate before and after biting. he laughed and said "oh mommy thats how i do it".

i know this is a very small snippet and not very supportive of my tic idea, but it is among many things i noticed him doing, he also has a habit of smoothing his hair down from the crown of his head to his forhead before and after speaking. kinda freaks me out how religiously he does it and how he never seems to notice it. whatever, i guess it isn't anything to stress about, any body else have kids like that?

me and snow? well what can i say except that we are like oil and water. i don't like it. actually it isn't the snow that i mind, it is the COLD that comes along with it. i hate, and i mean HATE being cold. the snow is pretty, i have even been known to play in it once every few years, but i hate being cold. and this is the kinda snow that isn't even sticking! why bother?


On a happy and normal note, today is my husbands 27th birthday! i love you so much pumpkin and even though i asked you not to read my blog, i want everyone else to know that even though you are getting old and all, i still love you:)


so all children ask at some point or another "where do babies come from?" and "why is the sky blue?" and whatnot...

let me ask you this....

"mommy, why do you smoke cigarettes?" as we are at the counter buying a carton. (and i know some of you are thinking: well why do you smoke and also thinking: why would you take your kid with you to buy cigarettes? well, thankyou for your judgements and also thankyou for keeping them to yourselves)(oh yeah and i dont smoke around my kid)
anyway...
me-"well i do honey"

him-"do you exercise every day to get rid of the smoke?"

me-"no, i exercise to get rid of my fat belly"

him-"maybe you're fat because you smoke"

i just laughed, i mean what else could i say? i do n o lie to my child and he knows i smoke, though it isn't around him. and he always lets me know how bad it is and that he will never smoke, now he lets me know its why i'm fat. lovely.

and one more impossible question...

"mommy, where was i before i was born. and before i was in your tummy. and before i was the egg. and before i was even thought of?"

huh?

"i mean was i an angel with GOD?"

of course i really don't know, but i ask himm what does he think since that is my usual reply to something i really have no idea of an answer...

"i think i'm right, i was with God in heaven and i played with Him all day long. i always am right, right mommy?"

i'll end that topic with that phrase seeing as i still don't have a really good answer for that one.

And now for my thankyou to Jesus. in writing all of this, it causes me to sit back and think about how full my life is. how happy and thankful Jesus has allowed me to be. How many people and events in my life that i am thankful for. there was a time when i was so sad, so uncaring i couldn't even begin to see the rainbow at the end. Jesus was there, but i only allowed Him whispering space in my head, only allowed Him to speak quietly about how to be faithful to Him. now i see, He was always there. And He has given me much.

So with a full heart and thankful spirit i will end for today.
thankyou friends for spending this bit of time with me.
Jineen

is monday almost over already?

time for not me monday again? i can hardly believe that much time has passed.....of course last week i was a day late and a dollar short....

anyway here we go:)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


so this past week i did not skip laundry entirely, electing instead to play catch-up today with at least 725 loads of it

and the above mentioned laundry? i did not allow it to fill up in the laundry basket (clean but unfolded) and when it began to overflow just dump it in an extra box conveniently next to the laundry basket. ( in fact i never do that)

i did not skip exercise 3 days out of the last 7, though i have been faithful up to that point

i did not allow my 7 year old child to sleep in my bed all night just because i knew it meant he would sleep in the next morning (i certainly did not just tuck him right into my bed, skipping all the waking up after a few hours thing)

i would never skip grocery shopping for 4 days instead opting to pay double for convenience and closeness at acme, 2 to 3 things at a time

i did not have drinks every day for the last few days just to relax and get some "sound" sleep only to have it backfire this morning when i awoke after 3 hours of sleep wide eyed and bushy tailed

i did not call out of work for only the 3rd time ever just to go to a superbowl party, and while at that super bowl party just for women, i did not actually watch the entire game and end up explaining the rules to everyone else, (i did not do this because i did not grow up with a father and brother who loved football).

and finally, penny pincher that i am, and saving for vacation that i am, i did not spend over 600.00 on my husband for his birthday, because he deserved it and i wanted to show him i love him with material things.

thats about it, i suppose.

better hope for this week, when i will be perfect and get everything done. and by the way, the upside to saving all the laundry from last week for this week? once it is all done tonight, i can count it as being done early for this week! (i can, can't i?)

fix it up friday!!!!

the number one essential tool in my gigantic bag of makeup (why do i have so much? and what was i thinking with that bright pink lipstick? oh well.....that's another day..)

meet my best friend....

my eyelash curler.

i assure you it isn't a device created for torture of poor unsuspecting women.....when used correctly and perfected (which takes some time believe me...) it can truly be your greatest trick up your sleeve. i never believed it...i have always had one.....many poor eyelashes have lost their short little lives to the horror of an eye lash curler....

your eyelashes can be fuller, thicker and really open your eyes up with an eyelash curler and some good mascara.

lets start with a few basics....

first you need this

and this......

once you have your equipment you can begin. use a mirror with good light.

make sure most of the rest of your makeup is finished, especially with the eyes so you aren't trying to avoid smudges.

start with clean eyelashes

i find it is easier to start with one eye at a time, first apply one coat of mascara to top and bottom lashes

then grab your eyelash curler and carefully, with it open, put your eyelashes through the slit being sure to get every eyelash through and clamp down for approx. 10-15 seconds. it should be as close to the lash/skin line as possible (and you'll know if its too close because you'll get pinched when you clamp).

apply mascara to the other eye (top and bottom lashes) and curl those lashes.

now your lashes are curled...

add one more coat to top and bottom lashes on both eyes and

FABULOUS!!!!!!!

see the difference....

then the finished product.....

its that easy.....in words

in reality? it takes a few times to get it right but once you do, your eyelash curler will be your best friend!

I hope you are now more prepared to face the world....i know my eyelash curler has changed my life.

any suggestions for the next fix-it up friday? let me know in the comments!

seriously, i realize that this is not a life altering post, but it sure is fun to share and learn new stuff from others......and makeup is something i am working on, i mean we can't be deep and spiritual every second, i am sure God understands the need to be pretty :)

have a great weekend!

i had the best intentions...

Technically it's tuesday, i know this, however i have been reading not me monday for a bit and so wanted to participate wach oand every time and then i never ever do. i always can think of good things to say and sometimes it is even funny stuff, but then i get caught up and miss out and figure it will have to wait until next week.

Well enough is enough, though it is already 2 hours into tuesday, i have not gone to sleep yet and so it is still monday for me....

ok even if you don't think so, can you just agree for my sake?

thanks....

and now, without further adieu (sp?)

the moment i have been waiting for....

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her/'>http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


so, i did not allow my son to go 4 days without a shower simply because i was TOO TIRED from my girls night out. i also did not wait until 3 am monday morning to get started on all the laundry from the past week, and then throw a dirty towel over top the remaining part of the clothes in the basket to attempt to make it look better.
I did not wait until 7 am monday morning to run to acme and pick some groceries and pay double for the convenience of only driving 2 miles. I certainly did not spend 5 hours trying to download a mediaplayer play list onto my ipod (unsuccessfully). and i did not take TWO free days from my diet instead of the one every 7 day thing i have been doing!


Yippee!!!! i FINALLY got to do it, and you know what i feel fabulous! So what didn't YOU do?

just right

yup, that's right ladies, i had a night out with girl friends last night and it did not include hubby (though i do enjoy time out with him) or child (though again i do enjoy time out with him too) or work, it was just a night out with friends. and it was a whole night, not just a few hours! i left the house shortly before 4pm and did not return home until 1am.

But it was so much more than that.....

the whole day was great, not in the way that i really accomplished much, but just great because i got to do everything just how i wanted. You know what i mean, i had plans and i had ample time to get ready, my hair went just right, the outfit i planned to wear looked just right, the child behaved just right, even the directions were just right!

I got up in the morning ( i use morning quite loosely here because it was actually just after 12pm, and though that sounds incredibly lazy, i didn't go to bed until 3 am, i work night shift remember? it isn't so easy to get off that schedule)
anyway...

i exercised, spent some time talking with hubby, showered, had LOTS of time to do something with my hair, (and if you read my earlier posts, i did find a way to do it....curled and with some teasing which i have never done before and of course my trusty bobby pin so as to be dressed up) (which by the way i received an text earlier in the day from my girlfriend letting me know that she spotted no less than 4 people at the mall with said bobby pin in their hair, letting me know i am in fact quite trendy even if i don't know it-lol)

so the hair was probably the best i have ever done it and my husband even agreed (and seemed somewhat jealous it wasn't for a night out with him)

i put on the good bra (lets be honest here, every woman has one, it just fits perfect, keeps the girls exactly where they should be- and more importantly keeps them from being exactly where they shouldn't) (ahem......mid abdomen...ahem)

so as i said it was just right

we had dinner, did some shopping and then had some drinks back at Darnita's house. it was relaxing, and fun. we talked and talked and laughed and talked and laughed, and there were no interruptions and no problems needing immediate solving by me!

my husband didn't care that i was out late and i could truly enjoy myself. Tell me, why did i think i needed to give this up? why did i spend years wishing for girlfriends and never allowing it to happen?

the good thing about being this age and getting new friends, i know what i want, and more importantly how to stay away from those friendships that just swallow you whole. they all have families too, and work and other things in their life, they don't need me 24 hours a day and they get it that i don't need them that way either.

God has truly blessed me with these woman, and i cannot remember the last time i had such a fun time!

and the other bonus? no guilt!
(i apparently have some inbred feature that causes me guilt anytime i do anything for myself and not the other members of my family)

so even though this post isn't super enlightening and i have nothing very valuable to add to your day, i am so happy that everything went just right!

stepping it up

ok, so i have now decided that i am going to be a woman instead of just wife, mother and provider. as i hinted at in my last post, i have lost myself somewhere along the way. forgot how to "do" my hair, forgot how to be excited to get dressed up and go out.
why would i spend time shopping and getting dressed up just to go to walmart? i don't.


so step one: get friends.

step two: actually engage in friend like activities with these friends

or more exactly, actually accept invites to go out with friends. there was a time long ago when my husband and i just sort of stopped having friends. we were happy with eachother and didn't have much time or money to go out (both in school and working.) add a sick kid into the mix and there just wasn't time. most of friends at the time of our marriage didn't agree with us getting married at 18. and most of our families didn't think we'd last. so in an effort to completely dispel those thoughts, we spent every waking moment together. we enjoyed being together as a family and though we still do i think we have come to a point after 8 years of marriage that we realize it is important to have things other than eachother that make us happy.

it was rough going at first.

getting used to the idea of the other going out with others, having fun enjoying themselves was a bit hard. harder for husband than for me. some jealousy and insecurities and fears had to be discussed. some limits had to be set.

After a few times and a few months, we both now see that we are BETTER to eachother and our family if we have some things separate.

so, wen friends would ask me to go out instead of saying no, i would say maybe. but still limited time saw me saying no in the end more often than not. feelings of guilt that i am already out of the house 3-4 nights a week for work would take over and i would think well, i only have 3 nights off, i better spend that time at home.

i have now come to know that having 2 nights at home and one night out with friends is ok. sometimes (ok everytime) it is fun. and i am a better person.

now i come to the part where i talk about how these other women have the same busy life as me and yet they have time to look great. while i generally lounge about in my jeans and t-shirts- a.k.a. the uniform. no accessories, no fabulous hair.

let fridays now be known as FIX IT UP FRIDAY.

i will post my newest revelation each friday about my quest to be myself. to regain my self confidence. (this idea is totally stolen from other blogs such as big mama's where she had fashion friday which i live for)

so this week is hair. i have long hair, closer to my bottom than my neck. i am told it is the kind of hair people kill for, though in my opinion it is more hassle than anything else.

i do own a straightener and a curling iron. i even have a brush. but beyond washing and adding some conditioner i dont do much more.

here are some facts i do know:

1. my hair and a blowdryer NEVER and i mean NEVER mix well

2. i do get it highlighted to be blond (it is brownish reddish naturally)

3. i wash it every other day to keep it from getting dried out

4. i..... well that it.

i joked this week at work that i was REALLY DRESSED UP due to the fact i had a bobby pin in place to keep my longer bangs out of my face. the sad things folks is that i wasn't kidding.

so this weekend i am going out to dinner and then working on a basket for a work raffle (you will soon get the idea that my job often spills over into the rest of my life)

i am so excited because this is a new group of friends for me and i want to look good. so i have a plan to scour all magazines i have ( which is a lot since i am addicted to glamour, shape and cosmo to name a few)

and try and find some fabulous way to do my hair. any and all input is welcome and needed! and that will be fix it up friday, i ask a question set in place my plan and we can all share our tips with each other!

and keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow when i prepare to WOW my friend with my hair knowledge!
jineen