here it comes

i am not quite sure where the time has gone.....i swear over a month ago i made up my little (or actually long) to-do list and started off december with good intentions. all the shopping would be done, the tree would be up and decorated by the end of the first week and the house would be continuously filled with the aroma of some delicious thing being baked....

so now it is december 20th and my fabulous list is only half done.

the tree is up (decorated this morning), no baking has been done, shopping for dom is done, but more for jerm and the others in the family. cards were sent out (everyone got haircuts, cleaned up, picture taken, transformed into card, addressed and stamped) doms room completely cleaned, my room comepletely cleaned. (i know the cleaning part was several hours in each room)

so what can i do? i work sunday night and monday night and i still have many things to be done and I AM TIRED!!!

i guess i haven't quite recovered from my 80 hours in 7 days of work....

so at least for today....drop off donations at goodwill, get milk, pick up at least one of the several gift cards on the list, more wrapping paper, and sleep.

(oh yeah, i did manage to be sure every bill is paid in advance so no bills for at least 2 weeks:)

let me know where you are in your list (don't worry i wont be mad if you are perfect and have it more together than me and i wont laugh if you dont)

i think we can makeit, but even if we dont...
here it comes

nearly christmas

I check the blogs i like to follow on almost a daily basis, and when i do not see a new post for several days, i feel disappointed. i like to hear the things going on in those lives that i feel connected to through this machine. i have even been known to request an update if more than a few weeks go by, (yes jodie i am talking about you ) and yet when i realized that i myself am not as faithful at keeping up......i guess i need to request an update from myself. these past few weeks seem to have flown by. all the planning and arranging so that the holiday season is just right seems to have eaten up all of my time.
I am almost sad that i have been running around like a nutcase missing out on the every day things.
so i am happy and proud to report the christmas and birthday shopping for dom is done. (his birthday is jan 3rd) and aside from batteries, we are ready for him. two side notes about that number one: i always plan to have all his stuff seperated and wrapped far in advance and yet every christmas eve jerm andi find ourselves up to 4 am wrapping and taping and arranging under the tree, maybe this year...
number two: dom didnt really ask for anything for christmas this year initially....he just simply made an announcement one day..

"mommy"

"yes dom"

"i am going to be santa claus this year"

"huh?"

"i said i am going to be santa claus this year"

"oh really? tell me more about this...." (obviously he has a plan and a reason as usual)

"well when i watched that movie (tim allen in "the santa claus") i decided that i could do a good job and i want to be santa. i know how ot do it"

"how?"

"well i wait until he gets to our house and then once he is on our roof i just push him off."

"what?"

"don't worry mommy, it isn't mean cuz he doesn't get hurt, he just disappears and then i look in his coat pocket and find the card and then i am santa"

"honey, that sounds like a ton of fun, but you do know that is ust a movie, santa needs to do his job and you should probably stay asleep in your bed."

"we'll see mommy, we'll see"

i must add that he walked around the house with his belly sticking out as if he were pregnant, though he is a very lanky child so there wasn't much to show. and now he asks me daily if i see any kind of beard growing on his face.

ahhh the holidays.

so i am sorry for not writing more often, and i hope everyone else is feeling as ready for christmas as me.

i am pleased as punch!

ok, so that is a terrible title. and it doesnt fit me well seeing as i am not a little old lady and i am also much happier than that. i have just discovered that someone besides me reads this.....
pipsylou you have made my day :)

i am just getting home from my third 12 hour shift ina row and i have cleaned so much poop up these past few nights i feel like i can still smell it even after my shower, perfume deodorant, lotion, face wash and more deodorant and powder just in case....

ok so i know i am just tired, but i swear do these fig newtons kind of look like...
no they dont i just have poop on the brain....

any way, i keep promising some new and enlightening update and i am just not getting it done, such is life i guess....

the holidays are here andi am trying to tell myself since my son is 6 almost 7 (next month!)
that htis will be the year that focus is on jesus birth...that this year along with all the other stuff we are really gonna help him learn and focus on the true reason of Christmas..

and yet i continue to religiously scour the toys r us website and add to our mound of toys hidden away waiting to be wrapped, fuss over haircuts and hair dye (for me) so we look super happy in pictures, collect addresses for cards...plan plan plan,the tree will go here, the lights will be arranges like this, oohh i know just what kind of cookies to make...

how do you have a balance? how do you say yes we are gonna do the santa thing and also do the jesus thing, when you know in your heart where your focus really is? i mean God knows, why am i ashamed to admit it, He already knows, and He knows i am human, He gave me that quality.

so here i am, tired, apparently unable to remove the smell of fecal matter, thinking about toys and yearning for Christ.

i guess that isn't too bad of a place to be,

maybe i really am pleased as punch:)

neglectful me...

i know, i know, i haven't written in 3 weeks. though i don't see much evidence that anyone reads this thing anyway, i feel somewhat guilty that i haven't been faithful.

So many things have been going on....

i would love to update, and i truly will take some time to do just that, but htis post has another purpose. I am sitting here lookiong at recipes deciding what i will cook for our very first Thanksgiving at home. yes, i know 8 years of marriage and this is the first time i am cooking? well, let me tell you it will be interesting.

first off, our oven is broken, not stove, just oven. so a turkey is out...well boston market is my backup. no one evn eats turkey except me, so a roasted chicken it is.

next....

i am realizing that some serious grocery shopping and list making is needed. thankfully ( no pun intended) list making is my specialty.

So i am beginning the plans of thanksgiving. it is a week in advance and i think i can get it done. I have some good recipes and new and old favorites to try. once i have compiled the entire menu i will let you know, as well as added decor and whatnot.

my prayer request for today is, as i am planning, and preparing, i am reminded of all the homeless people in our world. mostly i am thinking of hte ones in delaware (where i live) and the ones i have met before in the hospital. they come in for a warm bed and meals just for a day or two. there is no planning for them, there is no menu, food prep, list, or even thanksgiving day parade. i see into their eyes and the humanity behind them. whatever brought them to this place, whatever situation they are in, they are suffering. a basic human need is not being met. they are hungry. when was the last time you went to bed truly hungry? when was the last time you wondered where your last meal was coming from? not who was gonna cook it or who was gonna complain, but wondered would it even be there?

Dear Lord, i truly pray from the bottom of my heart that these people find their thanksgiving.

if you feel you can donate in some way, if you cannot, pray for these people, our brothers and sisters.

this year, i am truly thankful.

jineen

Jesus vs. God

Yup, i bet that title got your attention.

Although i doubt there are very many who even read this blog, i enjoy writing it and sharing even if it is only myself that reads it.

so when i was a child i prayed "dear Jesus", i said thankyou and sorry to Jesus. I believed in Jesus and asked Jesus into my heart. And as i grew i did "what jesus would do".

As a teenager i started to hear "the Lord" and "Heavenly Father" , but mostly I would hear "God". God helped me do it, God gave me the strength. But Jesus is apparently left to the childhood prayers.

And yet I strive every day to have childlike faith. Childlike faith is truly amazing. Look at your son or daughter, neice or nephew, best friends child. Look at how they see the world. Child like faith.

If my son needs something, he knows he will get it. If he is scared he knows we will take care of him. if he is cold, we will cloth him, if he is tired we will tuck him into bed.

He has faith in us.

How much more can we have child like faith in Jesus? He will never fail us.
When did we get away from Jesus? When did it all become so formal?

I challenge you to have child like faith and talk to Jesus today as openly and freely and without shame as you could when you were a child.

I would love to hear any examples of how this worked for you. Any stories of child like faith from either a true child or yourself.

blessings to you all
Jineen

self-righteousness

So i am plagued by this word so much now that i feel i have to share.

First off i hate this word. it sound so nasty and it also seems like something so many people take pride in when using it aginst others.



People sitting smugly in their "principles" knowing that they are so much better than everyone else. Their sins aren't as bad, their houses are better, their jobs are better, their children are better, their lives are happier andmore fulfilled, basically their shit doesn't stink.



Please excuse my crassness....



anyway, two things have happened recently to bring me to this awful blog entry...



One: a family members notices that something in the extended family isn't right...someone needs some help and something needs to be done. one person can't do it alone, that person prays and thinks and prays and thinks and asks his spouse to help him get help for the loved one.

They come up with a plan, one they feel is benficial in everyway....they go to the family....they ask for help....they send an email....they state the facts....they ask for prayer and consideration.....they request a response.....



2 people putting themsleves out there for someone else, it isn't easy what they ask, it isn't short term what they ask....it requires commitment and care and love and sometimes unpleasantness...



and so far they have gone unanswered. every single person they have sought out, every person they have prayed for, every person who has something to contribute and is so valuable and vital...

has not answered.

has buried their head in the sand. has said it is too big, they are too busy they don't care enough.



do they think we won't move on without them?

when God gives you a burden in your heart do you bury your head in the sand?



Maybe people think they will,maybe they are never given enough credit to do something on their own, but God has given them a burdenm and it isn't the first time He has tested their faith, tested their willingness to follow.

They know they can do it....



Will you pray for strength for this couple?



the second: again with the family. a rough situation to begin with.....some kids and a broken marriage a new family for daddy, the previous seemingly discarded....

mommy goes a different way....not alone but not with a daddy.....



kids grow up and off on their own......struggling to find their way...making some decsions that aren't always right...



one gets in trouble.....he needs some help...



why does everyone in the family get up on their high horse and say"maybe it's better this way?"

why does everyone think that the "bad kid" deserves to suffer?



maybe they don't know how much he already has.



being beaten and hurt and lied to and treated unequal and even underfed for lack of caring.



Maybe for once he needs a get out of jail free card, maybe just for once.



will you pray for him? more importantly will you pray for the family that can't forgive or see past the surface and dtop judging?



I KNOW God can do great things.

I know the Lord can move mountains

I know the Lord can change hearts in an instant........



Of course i know He gives us free will.
He allows us to choose.

I can be mad at those who are passing judgement, which would make me selfrighteous myself or..

i can choose to NOT be self righteous.

keeping the faith

sitting here looking back on all the things i have experienced throughout my life i am wondering how did i ever make it through? how did i continue to carry on and function? how did i pick up the pieces and move on?
well, i guess i really didn't.
God did. just like my favorite poem, God carried me. not just some of the way, but through my whole life. if we just keep the faith.....
When i was pregnant i went for my very first ultrasound (which incidentally was an intra-vaginal one and if you've had one you KNOW how pleasant those are....)
the nurse practitioner looked up at me and looked at the screen, moved around the "probe" and looked some more. Well i was supposed to be about 8-10 weeks along so....what was the problem?

she looked up at me again and back at the screen.

She removed the probe and without looking at me began to wash her hands and shut down the ultra sound machine.

Picture me half sitting half laying on those spacious exam tables in a semi private gown tied in the front with my vagina hanging out and my husband at my side staring at her.

She comes over and sits down. She looks up at me and says "i can't see the baby".

Oh, i think, is that all? well i must just not be laying right. or maybe the baby is too small.

I sit all the way up and am somewhat relieved at this news.

But she is still looking at me. "i can only see the yolk sac, but no baby and no heart beat and i should be able to see one."

i lost my breath and looked at my husband to see if he can understand this gibberish she is speaking.

He is just staring at her, so i take his cue and stare at her too.

"i think we need to count this pregnancy as a loss. There is nothing there."

WHAT! how did we get here? i can't see or hear anything else at this point. my mouth and nose feel like they are filling up with cotton. I can't speak or even make a noise......and then the tears start to come and my husband is squeezing my hand so hard.......

"you are probably going to start bleeding to expel the baby in the next few days and we will have you back in here in about 2 weeks to be sure the remains are out...."

i am sure she probably said some comforting words some where in there, but even to this day i can't remember much more than what i have written.

I left and didn't know what to say. I didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone see anyone or God forbid TELL anyone.....what would they say? what would they think?

i cried alot and spoke very little. my husband went to work and came home and we ate dinner and life was almost the same except every single time i went to the bathroom i carefully studied and examined every inch of toilet paper waiting for blood. iknow that is graphic but it's the truth. I must have gone to the bathroom every hour for 2 weeks. I stared and stared at the toilet paper. I waited and waited. one very dear friend and family member (one of the few who knew about the situation) spoke to me about her own experience and let me express my feelings.
Mostly i waited and waited for a miscarriage that never came. My husband was there for me hugging me and comforting me and he took care of me in a way no one else could have. I am truly grateful the the Lord gave him to me, no one else would have been enough.

I went back to the doctor 2 weeks later and there on the ultra sound screen was the most beautiful sight i have ever laid eyes on....

a gray blur blinking about 150 times a minute.

A heart beat.

Dominic.

I cannot explain it. I cannot understand it. I do not know what happened.

But it doesn't matter, because God knew all along. He knew what he was doing and He knew the plan, and all i had to do was sit back and.....

Keep the faith.

i come to the garden

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

come as you are

So my husband and i were talking about being a christian earlier this week and we were thinking about some of the reasons why we are currently choosing not to go to church.
I think mainly the reason is at the churches we have been to, many people there are hypocrites.
I am sure there are hypocrites where ever you go, but it seems that maybe there should be a few less at church. We have been to many churches over the years and the experience has been more or less the same.

Jesus says to us to come as we are, or does He?

Well, technically no. He tells us to come as sinners to find the truth. There is no phrase in the Bible that says come as we are. It doesn't mean we need to change ourselves and be free of sin when we come, (how could we do that on our own?) it means come how you are with a heart willing to change for the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:3-5
.......God our Savior who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Jesus Christ.

He wants ALL of us to be saved. Not just rich people, not just those who go to church every Sunday, not just those who pray before dinner, he wants EVERYONE. He wants us to come to Him on our own willingly. He wants us to come if we smoke, He wants us to come if we drink, he wants us to come if we have holes in our clothes, he wants us to come if we sleep under a newspaper every night.

And yet at our very own establishments, this does not happen. Oh sure we have our "ministries to the poor people". We go to their homes, their schools, we keep them there (our brand new pews would get dirty?) and we tell them what they should be doing, and we give them food. And we leave and come home and talk about what a good thing we did. And i am sure there are some who did it with a pure heart. and some who did it to spend time with their friends, and some who were forced by their parents or their spouse.

When we get together on Sunday mornings, we sing and pray and have communion and messages, all in the same order, stand up, sit down, sing, pray, standup and sing, sit down and listen. All in the same order, over and over again.

We look around at that person whispering, that person passing a note, or that woman whose husband didn't come again, or that teen wearing too much makeup or whoever wearing the same clothes from last week. The moms who take hours getting themselves and their daughters hair curled and dresses fluffed just so. And we think " oh how much more righteous am i? i sit still and listen, i stand and sit, sit and stand. I wear a new dress each week, and i give money every week".

Quite frankly, it makes me sick. I am not trying to judge, or put all people into a stereotyped group, just making observations.

Mark 4:18-20
Still others like seed sown against thorns, hear the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop-thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.

If you are so busy worrying about what everyone else is doing wrong, how can you be listening?

If you sit in judgement of the sins of everyone else, how can you be watching yourself?

No one is with out sin. We wouldn't need Jesus if we were.

Many sins are not obvious, and many are. Just because you can see one sin doesn't mean you don't have your own.

My husband and I feel we should be able to come and worship as we are. we should be able to focus on our hearts and our relationship with God, not what every one else is thinking.

Let me give you an example.

My husband has a mohawk, and stretched out earring holes. I have my nose pierced and a tattoo on the back of my neck. We went to my mother in laws church service maybe 2 years ago. They called them selves contemporary. They were reaching out to the "young people". The moment my husband left the gathering group in the gym (to go the bathroom) he was followed by an older woman who apparently had some standing, and when he stopped to say something to the person working the electronic part of the service, my husband was immediately told by this woman he was out of line and to get back to the group. He was 24 years old!

She judged him. She thought she knew his heart by what he looked like on the outside. She thought his sins must be worse than her own.

My friend (this story happened over 8 years ago) became pregnant out of wedlock. She would not name the father. She hid the pregnancy for as long as she could. When it finally became quite clear, her church gave her an ultimatum. Stand up in front of the church, admit what you've done, name the father, and ask forgiveness, or leave forever.

She left.

Her sin was obvious. But when it comes to sins, there is no rank. It is sin. It is separation from God.

There is only one way to bridge that gap. Not your pastor, not your sunday school teacher, not your good deeds for the poor and needy.

Jesus Christ. He goes before us to God. He wipes our sins clean so God can see us perfect.

He does this for us everytime, we ask. Isn't that amazing?

My point of this is not to ask for invitations to church. I have had many over the years assure me their church isn't like that, i have yet to find it true.

My point is to say next time you find yourself in church looking around at someone who doesn't seem as good as you, or dressed as well, or as holy, stop. Think to your self "now is the time to worship" and redirect your thoughts to the Lord. You never know who might be looking around thinking those things about you.

Next time you see someone in church who doesn't quite fit to the image, don't rush up and try to save them. You can't. Only Jesus can. And since you don't know their heart, maybe they don't need as much saving as you think.

My whole point is, church seems to have become a place to show off how much of a Christian you are. Don't be a part of that. Come as you are, and let others do the same.

not really chronologically correct

so when i started this blog i wanted to tell my story from the beginning but now something has happened that i feel i must share.

I am a nurse and i love my job. i know God led me to do this through experiences in my life that i will share throughout this blog, i am sure.

So the other night i get to work, expecting that my direct boss would have called out sick (she called out the previous 2 nights and at my job if you call out 3 times in a row it equals one call out) she was there. Then seeing that many new nurses were scheduled for work that night i figured i would be put in the district with some of the newer ones (we generally do that), i was not. Then i figured since i was the more experienced nurse i would have the more difficult patients, but i did have one easy one.

Or so i thought.



This patient is one that we have often. he has had a myriad of health problems over the years and we have cared for him multiple times. he has an amazing family who are at his side 100% of the time. Not one of those families that comes out to find you each time the patient needs to be turned or have their blankets pulled up or whatever. One of those kind of families who turns, cleans, dresses and feeds the patient before you can get there.

like i said amazing.



Now it comes to my turn to care for the patient. I know his mom well, i have seen his sister many times. They are there and they are sad. As it turns out, this patient will not be getting better. His body has begun to shut down. His organs are failing. he is struggling for every breath he takes, literally drowning in his own fluid.



His mom and sister know they dont want him to be on a ventilator. they know they don't want us to do CPR on him. But beyond that, they aren't sure. Death is inevitable, but they aren't quite there yet.



Not one, not two, not even three but FOUR doctors have talked to them about putting him in a nursing home. Let him die there. it will be easier. Four doctors have tried to convince them to put him on a morphine drip and let him drift away. One social worker has tried to speak with them about insurance limits and hospital bills. Put him in a nursing home, it is easier and cheaper.



They are angry. they are hurting. they dont trust anyone.



it is now 2 am.



i have made him as comfortable as i can. i have given him pain medicine. He is on a bipap. he can only maintain 90% oxygenation. (we need 92% or greater to live)

his sister wants to go outside to smoke. I offer to go with her. (we aren't allowed to smoke at work but i think oh well, it can't hurt, something is telling me to go with this girl)



She is 27. her brother is 25. Their mom had their sick brother (the patient) when she was highschool. She dropped out to care for him. She made a commitment to care for this patient with downs syndrome for his whole life. And so she did. When she had the following two children(the afore mentioned 27 and 25 year old) they all participated in his care.



she tells me over and over how much the patient is loved, all of the sacrifices they have made for him, how much this whole thing hurts and how angry she is.



she tells me how she has to be strong for her mother, for her brother.



she tells me that no doctor and no social worker seems to understand, they don't care about the money or the bills. her mother has cared for this patient for his whole life, why would she put him in a nursing home to die?



she tells me story after story about this patient and his life, their commitment to keep him happy and active. to take him to school, to the park, to church. to give him a life that counted.



I feell overwhelmed. I feel the need to share with her. i tell her about my son, about our struggles with his health. i tell her all the times i cried, and was scared. I tell her that i don't believe in accidents. I know God has a plan and that He will show us what it is if we listen. I truly believe it in my heart.



And so does she.



She drags me into her brothers room when we get back upstairs, she wakes her mother up and makes me tell her mom what i just told her.



it is now 3 am.



The patient's oxygen is now at 88%, I get a respiratory therapist to give him a treatment. he remains at 88%.



I talk to mom about options. I applaud her for not wanting to put him on a ventilator. i take her to 2 other patients rooms who are on ventilators to show her what it looks like. (this is against the rules but it is 3 am, who's watching?)I ask her if that is what she wants for her son. She shakes her head.



We sit together, the mom, the sister, the patient and i.



thankfully one of my other patients is a vegetable ( well i'm not thankful for that, but thankful that i have the time to spend with this patient) and the other is sound asleep.



it is now 4 am.



the patients oxygen is now at 82%. i call the doctor. he tells me what i already know.



i go into the room, mom on one side and sister on the other. I stand with them. i am quietly searching for the right words.



"i talked to the doctor"



they are silent.



"mom...." (why am i calling her mom?)



" he is suffering. look at him and see how hard he is working to breath."

i grab the stethescope and let mom and sister listen to his lungs. they are 2/3 full of fluid. they hear it.

"there isn't anything else i can do for him. he will continue to work harder and harder and suffer more and more until he dies. you know (patients name) has always done things his own way, he is telling us no nursing home, no hospital bills, no more suffering. " ( i can't believe i am being this blunt.)

"i can help him. I can give him morphine and take off his mask and we can be here with him while he goes to heaven."

i leave the room so they can talk for a while.

it is 5 am.

the brother gets there. sleep still in his eyes he goes into the room.

i wait.

i go into the room and they all look at me and mom smiles." i don't want him to suffer. give him the medicine and take off the mask."

i tell her to get family together while i call the doctor. he comes immediately and signs the papers.

it is 6am.

the extended family arrives and begins to say their goodbyes. i give him the morphine.
sister asks me to go for one more smoke.

when we get outside, she turns to me and i am afraid of what she will say...

she thanks me for being so honest. she tells me no one else was so honest. she tells me she is grateful that i gave it to them straight. and she tells me she trusts me because she can see how much it is hurting me to say the things i've been saying. we hug and head back to the room.

it is 6:30 am.

i go to the room. the family is crowded around and mom is sitting at the bedside holding the patients hand. she looks up at me and says you can take it off, we're ready."

i look at her, i look at the sister. i ask them" are you sure? do you understand that when i take off the mask there will be no miracle (though i do believe in miracles) he will die"

they nod.

i walk to the patient, squeeze his hand one last time and....

take off the mask. he opens his eyes for the first time that night and looks at his mom. i turn off the breathing machine.

i go to the machine measuring his oxygen level, it says 60%, and i turn it off.

i stand there with his family, crying for him, praying for him (Lord, please let it be quick). three minutes later, he died.

he was 29 years old.

i never thought about this when i got to work that night. i had no idea God would use me in this way.

He did. me, unworthy sinner. He used me and my sorrows to help this family when no one else could.

thankyou Lord for continuing to amaze me. i wasn't strong, but You were.

jineen

where do i begin?

i guess i am having a hard time deciding where to begin with this, do i just jump right in or do i start from the beginning, and the beginning of what? my life, my marriage, the birth of my child.
I guess i will just jump in and i apologize if that leads me all over the place as i add little tidbits.
soooo i was born 2 weeks late one night in may...
i guess the only thing significant about that is maybe it can explain why i am late for nearly everything in life, late to parties, late to bed, late to movies, even last to get the joke. the only thing i am never late for is work.
So anyway, i guess maybe i am a "cookie cutter" christian as far as i was saved sometimes during a vbs program around 4 or 5 years old. I am fairly certain of this fact, though 20 years later i wonder if my memory is true, or some fantasy i have developed for lack of memory. Of course my salvation is confirmed by three or four crisis times in my teenage years when i desperately poured my heart out to the Lord begging his forgiveness and became saved again. Well, not really again, but just some extra insurance for the terrible mess i had managed to create in my life at that moment. So some way or another, at either 4 or 15, i became a Christian.
Not really a fancy story. and truly not a mind blowing experience, apparently not even memorable, which causes me some guilt every now and then that the moment i met my Saviour is something i can't quite nail down.
Oh well, i am sure that it happened, and that is what counts.

the real deal

Ok, so before we really get started, i feel the need to lay it all out on the line. I am not a good typist, so i apologize ahead of time for the errors i most certainly will make. Moving on, if you are looking for inspiration, you probably won't find it here. I am a wife to Jeremy, mommy to Dominic, nurse to many many people, these are my proudest accomplishments. then there are other things: smoker, social drinker, i use foul language and now here i am looking to move forward with my relationship with Christ.
How can that happen with the faults i have listed? I am not sure, I suppose that will be what is ahead in this blog.
Are you ready for the journey? Do you want to come along and see where God takes us? I know He has a plan, he has since the beginning of time....
Let's find out
JIneen