Sunday, March 8, 2009

poop

yup.

cammie did it, and now i'm gonna do it too.

poop is pretty much my favorite thing the main thing in my life i can count on.

still reading?

ok, let me grab you and drag you kicking and screaming into my own little cess pool :)

I am a nurse. the unit i work on is comprised mostly of very ill patients, some on ventilators, and lets be honest, if you can't even breath on your own, well your body probably isn't super concerned with the brown eye'd monster and its function. so....there is a lot of hineys to be cleaned and a lot of poop to smell. and the best part? we have to document color, shape, size and consistency. if we are lucky, we even get to test it for parasites, blood and infection!

once my night of cleaning the puckered rosebud is over, i get to come home to the 2 loves of my life....and one bathroom.

so, my son only has a little more than half of his intestines, and also the whole tumor thing, so basically his bowel control doesn't exist. the poor kid doesn't even have a sphincter. if i were the questioning sort, and i had a chance to ask God anything, i might ask why in the world of all the things to leave out, did you have to short my kid his anal sphincter? ( that's how i know God has a sense of humor)

anyway, so he goes probably like 6-7 times a day. and there is no warning. it is either already coming out, or ...you might have 15 seconds to throw him on the toilet and hope the lid is up.

and for a boy with such a sweet smile, the other end doesn't produce anything sweet at all!

then my husband, who forgive me pumpkin, but it must be told.

he has crohn's disease. not sure of your knowledge in that area, but let me tell you. he also goes 6-7 times a day. and he is a man.

and man shits stink.

the funny thing about his turds is that depending on where he has been or what he has been doing the smell, truly fluctuates. i know i know, i am analyzing things that jsut shouldn't be discussed, but i swear i have smelled metal in there, fruit and one time marijuana ( no he doesn't smoke it) (or eat it).

it has pretty much gotten to the point that, i know when i am in the shower, someone is gonna come in and use the bathroom.

so, the number one thing on my list of must haves when looking for a new house?

2 bathrooms!

and i guess that is kinda all i have to say about poop for now.

thankyou all for your support, and i will be working on my post explaining my kids life, but for now I thought something a little more funny was in order, and lets face it poop is always funny.

i truly have the best bloggy friends in the world!

our family surprise comes up on thursday and i can't wait to bring you all along....


jineen

5 comments:

Cammie said...

this is a crappy post......bwahahahahahahaha
:)

Kristina P. said...

I SOOOO agree! We only have one bathroom, and my husband can spend hours in there. I think he helps create warfare items for the government.

Just A Chic... said...

So...I'm just wondering how you know what marijuana smells like? ;-)

My BIL has crohns...that's just a shitty disease.

Megan said...

lol my hubby has ulcerative collitis, which is in the same family as chrone's. Fun times.

Thanks for visiting and following me! =)

Cheryl said...

My oldest son, now 16, had problems in this area from birth til about 10. He ran the gammut from constipation to no control. Doctors didn't listen, so we had to wait until he just "outgrew" it. Thank God he did.