Saturday, June 13, 2009

did you know.....

uh, i was totally grossed out today by reading something in my woman's bible for survival glamour magazine. but before i tell you all about inspiration...

there's still time to ask hubby questions! come bloggy friends, here is your chance to meet the man of leisure himself, the man who can tolerate me even after all these years! ask him whatever you want, and he is gonna guest post with the answers, unedited by me!

ahem, moving on.....
in addition to my role as mother of the year, which requires lots of time for speech writing and parenting classes for those of you who can't seem to keep up with my mad parenting skills, i love to educate. my knowledge is extensive, and i thought to my self " self, don't your readers deserve to be as smart and all knowing as you?" well my bloggy friends the answer is yes.

so i figured i might help learn you all alittle, here goes, pay close attention:)

i figure i will start off easy, something you may even already know. i like to let you feel alittle superior, i'm kind that way:)

i love yoga, i love stretching. you too? think you are awesome? well, it is physically impossible to lick your own elbow. (of course why would you want to?)

i was "reading" while taking a dump in my "office" and came across a little excerpt that informed me that after one day of wearing a pair of panties, you have approx. a tenth of a gram of fecal matter on them. ewww! i mean i know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it was part of a story talkinga bout how woman re-wear their underwear and that the poopoo can cause infection because it can touch other parts when you re-wear them!

i am so grossed out. i know its probably because i am a nurse, but i wash my hands more than 100 times a night when i am at work, and probably half that throughout the day while at home. not because i a ocd, but because i just like to prevent illnesses whenever possible.

apparently, handwashing alone doesn't help. you also must never eat in public. wanna know why? An average person will consume 12 pubic hairs in their fast food annually. ummm.....thankgoodness we don't eat a lot of fast food, however, i always thought it was all the grease giving me "swamp ass". apparently, that may not be the cause after all.

think all that plucking and waxing and shaving and hair dying and treadmill slaving is bad? at least we have some evidence to back it up. what if we lived during these times?...Drinking turpentine is said to make urine smell like a rose, so hundreds of years ago, women would drink turpentine so their piss would smell sweet. umm.....

forget excederin and tylenol, if you got a headache in 1897, you were totally in luck! why? well bayer (yes the aspirin company) marketed heroin. NICE!

i know you are probably exhausted from all this reading and learning, but i wanted to leav eyou with one more tidbit of knowledge.....

more than half of you reading this and expanding your brains, will have tried to lick your elbow:)

happy weekend! (don't forget your questions for hubby:)

15 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I knew there was a reason I should never read Glamour.

Sarah said...

I don't want to sound high and mighty but WHO THE HELL re-wears their underwear? At least turn them inside out! Yucky!

{Katie Lane} said...

Gross... My friend has disjointed elbows and can lick them :)

TheYandR_Lady said...

Coming back to say hi from SITS! Thanks for visiting me!

Night Owl Mama said...

ACkkk. Yes i tried to lick my elbow but It was only for entertainment. Do we eat fast food? NOT ANY MORE!! do I care if my urine smells like ...um well NOPE. and I gotta run. I need to change my underwear.

That was just plain well gross. LOL thanks for the tid bits. They say you learn something new every day I think I reached my quota.

Kimberley said...

Oh my goodness! That really is quite gross. lol.

You've got me all intrigued now, so I'm wondering whether these panties they talk about are regular old Bridget-Jones style grandma panties OR g-strings. Hmmmmmm.

Interesting. Haha x

~Laura said...

Came across your blog today and talk about interesting!!! I really picked the right day to find you:) Really got a laugh out of this post. Have a good week....and I hope I remember to change my underwear!

Shannon said...

Oh wow. I'm no longer hungry... Ew.

The Blonde Duck said...

I'm going to go sit in the corner in the fetal position on sterlized plastic.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm stopping by from SITS to leave you some comment love because you posted right before me.

Now to the panties and poo part, Eeeeeeeeeeeeck!!

Sarah said...

you can stalk my blog anytime you want! And thank you for the prayers!

Jessica and Michael said...

Umm....ewwwwwwww! That's so disgusting! How Foul!

Stopping by from SITS to say hi. I really like your blog and will be back more!

Melissa B. said...

I'm considering getting into yoga myself. Stopping by from SITS to Share Some Comment Love!

Veggie Mom said...

Don't your hands dry out when you wash them so much? SITS sent me over this morning...have a lovely day!

Mama Mel said...

Hi from SITS! This is super funny! Actually, I already knew about the fecal matter thing. Also, even after washing all your clothes (even w/ bleach), I hear you will still have 1 gram of fecal matter on all your clothes, especially if you wash your underwear mixed in with the rest of your clothes, which most of us normal people do. Anyways, I figure it can't be that bad, we're still alive, right? I do however wash my hands after touching the laundry, clean or dirty. And who really re-wears their underwear, unless they're hard-core camping or stranded somewhere?! Gross! I wash my hands a lot throughout the day too. I used to be a CNA. And, I live in AZ, so my hands are dry and cracked all the time.. Anyways, we could probably share some similar stories. Good visiting your blog! :)